Welcome to a New Liis on Life!

Thank you so much for visiting Liis on Life! I am so happy to share this space with you and am looking forward to connecting often. Yes, this website is a play on my name… but it really does reflect a new energy for me, a new direction, a new purpose in life. If we are meeting here for the first time then a big hello to you!  And if some of you know me through my over 20 years in the fashion industry, I am happy to connect with you again.

Sometimes you blissfully walk through life thinking your future is going in one direction then all of a sudden a giant hand swoops down and declares, “Change of course! You are now going this way!” You find yourself on a completely different path, one you never envisioned or chose.  You protest, you reflect, you rage, and then a moment of calm clarity comes about and you realize the universe chose your experiences for a reason, that you attracted in your experiences for a reason – or a million – a million really, really important ones.  And you realize all your experiences are meant to be shared in order to help someone else in the exact same spot you were just in.

Looking back I was physically falling apart for years – but always with a smile on my face, always while keeping busy and moving onto the next project in my life. (Sound familiar anyone?) There were warning signs that my body was crying out for help. There was a growing disconnect with my mind, body & soul – they weren’t having the same conversation. The universe kept bellowing:

Hey Liis!

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

HOW ABOUT RIGHT NOW?!

It wasn’t until I completely fell apart and started putting back the pieces that I realized all this, until I heard the universe LOUD and CLEAR. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune thyroid dis-ease in 2011, endometriosis in 2012 and the clincher, the rare dis-ease cerebellar gluten ataxia in 2013. My list of symptoms was enormous and the daily pain was off the charts.  Were there good times in there? Absolutely. Some great times in fact. Some travelling and some nights of dancing even. Some amazing career projects. But to say I have done a lot of soul searching, health homework and deep reflection would be an understatement. I feel as if I just completed a university degree I didn’t realize I had signed up for!

I like to call the last few years my “spiritual time-out.”  In all the pain and all the frustration, there were so many lessons, so much knowledge gained, so many moments of amazement and wonder. To the general public who have seen me on numerous TV appearances and in fashion campaigns, it may not have seemed like anything was wrong but every event – even if only one or two hours – required meticulous planning and then recuperation. From first adopting a gluten free life in 2011 to embracing a Paleo lifestyle in late 2013, I have grown to realize the healing energy of food, meditation and positive thinking and the power we have to change the course of our dis-ease, our happiness, our lives.

As I sat in my time-out chair, I did reflect on a lot, and came to new levels of understanding on so many platforms.  After labour, mothers will always say of course they would go through it all again in order to have their children. Although not a mother, I can relate to that sentiment – I have come out the other side with a new lease on life I wouldn’t trade for anything in this world.  There is no going back to “before.” I have wept so many tears of gratitude and sit in such gratefulness every day.  My friends now lovingly say, ”Aww Liis, are you crying from happiness again?”

I have created this space and welcome you here to learn, to grow, to laugh, to embrace your inner child and hug the hell out of her. To reach out to your future self and proactively take care of her right now, this very instant – and let her know how amazing she is. To love yourself today, just the way you are in all your amazing perfection. To live in joy daily. To shake up your routine. To ask questions. To not only think outside the box but live like it never existed. To cry tears of total joy. To surprise and amaze yourself. To do your health homework because it is really, really good for your mind, body and soul!

Let’s lose the obsession with what size is on the label of our jeans and daily weigh-ins and always calorie counting shall we? My shape and size has changed dramatically through all this and it is but one  small part of my story. My curvy body allowed me to travel the world with a career I loved, connecting with incredible people around the world. I honour my body throughout time, whatever shape or size. Weight and size is such a small part of who all of us really are.  This site is about body love for everybody and every BODY.

If I can help others from going through the same health issues and rude awakening I did, I sure want to try.  As this site grows, and as I continue to grow, I hope you will join me. I am so looking forward to it!

 

So Liis, Why Are You Eating Paleo Anyway?

You will notice on my site and in my social media posts that I reference Paleo food and share my healthy concoctions quite frequently. If you have found your way to Liis on Life, you may already know a bit – or a lot – about the Paleo way of eating. Or you may have no clue and are envisioning cavemen running around hunting for food and picking berries scratching your head wondering why I have signed up for such a “crazy” way of life. Many crossfitters have adopted the Paleo diet but I am not a crossfitter – but kudos to them and their workouts! And some adopt a Paleo diet strictly to lose weight which is not the reason I changed my eating habits. As a proud curvy model and fashion diversity and body image advocate for over 20 years, I want everyone to know I don’t count calories, this has nothing to do with weight or size – it has to do with making a necessary lifestyle choice for health. I think if you are “on a diet” you can fall off. Ouch. No thanks. When you’re “in a healthy lifestyle,” that’s being true to you every day. I feel as if I am getting back to the healthy way my grandparents ate before preservatives took over the shelves – or as I like to say: Just Eat Real Food (JERF).

In 2011, when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, it was recommended that anyone with any autoimmunity eat gluten free so I jumped in with both feet to help heal myself. It is believed that once the body starts mistakenly turning on its own body parts – in my case, my thyroid – it often starts to mistakenly attack gluten as well thus keeping up the body’s inflammation levels. I also eliminated soy – not great for many reasons but especially with thyroid issues. Still, the varying levels of aches and pain and brain fog problems didn’t go away. There were many improvements (health homework is key!) but my quality of life was far from ideal. I was existing not thriving. Painful endometriosis came about in 2012 and I noticed some different symptoms in the spring of 2013 but kept thinking, ”I have to be patient and give my body time to heal,” and attributed them all to Hashimoto’s.

 

The fall of 2013 brought about severe changes to my health and suddenly many days I could barely walk and the brain fog I had struggled with turned into what I can only label the decimation of my mind. Some days I could look and act fairly normal, other days, not even close. Every day felt like a game of chance and making plans started to become impossible. When I could walk, I often looked like I was stumbling down the street drunk. Every movement I made was exhausting and difficult and I remember telling my mom that if I didn’t get help immediately, I was going to hit a point of no return and lose certain brain and body function forever. At 42, I thought I was headed towards a walker or a wheelchair and either dementia, Parkinson’s or something similar. I was inwardly freaking out at how fast things were spiralling. The list of symptoms was long and I could barely tie my shoelaces and tremored inwardly constantly. Basic everyday moves became huge tasks – lifting a tea cup, passing a plate down the table, being in busy, loud environments. By this point, I had tried everything to get my blood sugar levels under control and I could feel it getting worse. It was only through deep meditation, meticulous planning and literally using up all my adrenaline reserves that I got through this period. My acting and improv skills helped me get through work obligations and seem “normal” when I felt anything but.

In December, 2013 I was finally diagnosed with gluten ataxia, an autoimmune condition in which the antibodies my body was producing in response to gluten were mistakenly attacking my cerebellum (more specifically the Purkinje cells), the part of the brain which controls motor skills. My nerves, muscles, central nervous system and entire body were affected. (There are many forms of ataxia. Some come about for no known reason “sporadic” , some are hereditary and some are symptoms of  celiac or Hashimoto’s – which is not the case with me.  Some believe, as I do, gluten ataxia is an as-yet classified autoimmune dis-ease. There is still so much research needed!) I had still been getting trace amounts of gluten through cross contamination and not being careful enough even though I was “gluten free.” On the advice of my doctor and through lots of research, I adopted a Paleo way of eating in mid-December. At that point, I would have hopped on one foot and ate cardboard if you told me it might make me feel better. (But actually, I couldn’t physically hop…hmm…)

With any autoimmunity, the body’s cells attack a body part mistakenly thinking it is a foreign invader. It is recommended that those with autoimmunity adopt a gluten free life because the body often grows to also view gluten as a foreign invader. If one’s body is hypersensitive, it can also mistakenly start to attack other foods with a similar molecular structure, a process called molecular mimicry. With autoimmunity, one wants to do as much as possible to calm down your system because there is a likelihood of developing other issues or autoimmune dis-ease – as you can see with how much has been going on with me. It’s important to do as much as possible to turn off or lessen the “red alert” signal your cells have activated. And this is where the Paleo diet comes in…

A Paleo diet gets back to the basics of how our ancestors ate when they were nomadic hunters and gatherers who were not confined to one geographic location and hence, didn’t depend on crops like wheat or soy. In essence, as I like to call it – K.I.S.S. – Keep It So Simple, or getting back to basics, or as I said before, Just Eat Real Food! It’s about lessening inflammation in the body, allowing its functions to get back to calm and cutting down the daily intake of sugar that causes so many issues for those with autoimmunity. By eating unprocessed food, it’s also about cutting out chemicals, unnecessary additives and GMO’s. Paleo focuses on fruits, vegetables, lean meats, seafood, nuts and seeds, eggs and healthy fats. Organic produce and grass-fed meat is preferred. All food consumed is gluten free. The foods to avoid include ones that can cause a lot of inflammation including grains, dairy, sugars, legumes, processed foods, and alcohol. It still amuses me to hear a 10,000 year old way of eating being labelled a “new diet craze.”

Although at first glance this may look limiting, I promise you it’s not! I have discovered so many great new (or should I say old?) ingredients: spices, flours, fruits and vegetables, sauces, beverages. I am always satisfied, never hungry, and don’t crave sweets anymore. Cooking and baking is fun – and nourishes me mind, body and soul. I promise to break down the categories even more in a future post!

My results were quick and astounding. Within 3 days I was able to sleep in for the first time in 3 years because my morning blood sugar levels felt stable and walked across my room and didn’t fall over. In less than a month of “going Paleo” as I like to call it, the daily pain on the arch of my left foot vanished (plantar fasciitis). The stomach pain that had been a daily source of misery for 3 solid years was gone. I wept from sheer and utter joy. My pants started to feel loose and borrowing a relative’s scale (I don’t own one & don’t want to), I discovered I had dropped 20 lbs while under strict doctor’s orders not to exercise – not that I could have anyway. The painful tire-like swelling around my waist started to disappear and the episodes of being so bloated I looked pregnant never reoccurred. . The daily pain in the right side of my face and neck (the equivalent of having a headache every single day for years) disappeared. I wept. I wept so many times!

In less than 2 months, my erratic blood sugar levels continued to stabilize and my need to constantly eat to be able to function vanished. The hump on the back of my neck vanished, the swelling in my neck (goiter) went down and strength started to slowly return to my muscles and most importantly – my brain. My brain started to fire up normally again – ideas and concepts started to fly. I felt smart and creative again. Yup, bawled. Within 42 days of going Paleo, I actually skated with my mom for 10 minutes without falling over or passing out and browsed through some stores with her for an hour without losing steam. Yes, you guessed it – cried again from sheer gratitude and wonder.

Every day became a gift in a different way. I remember a friend asking,”Aren’t you sad eating in a way that takes so much out of your life?” I chimed back,”I don’t think you understand. I have got so much more given back to me than taken away!” And it was true. I didn’t think it possible, but after eliminating sugars, my cravings changed. About a week into eating Paleo, my body and consciousness shifted. My body could finally start to truly heal without worrying about constant inflammation. It’s like I said to my body,”I have taken away anything that was harming you – just concentrate on getting better now. Everything else has been taken care of.”

As I write this in January, 2015, I have just finished a 2 ½ month physiotherapy program at Neuro-fit in Los Angeles for the ataxia and have made huge improvements to my brain and body and will continue with physiotherapy at home. From January-March 2014, the Paleo lifestyle helped in so many ways but I didn’t realize the body sometimes heals much faster than the brain and although I was calming it down with meditation and at-home physiotherapy, fixing the messaging system to the rest of my body parts was a very slow process. The ataxia was very up and down from April onwards but I felt so many other areas stabilizing. I realize now how important it was to have the foundation in place that Paleo brought about for me in order to do these challenging physiotherapy sessions. My blood sugar levels needed to be firmly in order and everything fell into place in the right time. I also needed the best fuel possible to hit the highest level of healing right now.

I don’t like the word “diet” even though I know in this context it is simply a way of eating. Yes, I continue to lose weight as my body finds what works well for it, but that is merely one small part of my journey, one small part of who I am and my size does not define me. I have always been happy with myself regardless of my weight. I do not count calories, am always satisfied food-wise, and my body shape and size continues to change and wherever I land, as long as I am healthy and thriving, I am thrilled. As my way of eating has become such a big part of my life, I like to say I live a Paleo lifestyle, for food is such an important part of the fabric of our lives. I literally crave healthy food now and have so much fun concocting new recipes in my kitchen or with friends!

I don’t ever believe in using the word “cheat” if I ever partake in something not-quite-Paleo (but always remaining 100% gluten free). I prefer the term off-roading actually…. I eat so super healthy that I don’t consider tasty organic coconut ice cream a cheat, or having some hummus at a friend’s house who has gone out of her way to put out a super healthy spread and try to accommodate me, or adding pure Canadian maple syrup (a sugar) to a healthy cacao/avocado pudding. This is the rest of my life. This is my new normal and after feeling so great after feeling so bad, I welcome it with open arms . I am not “on a diet” – I don’t like that term. I am “in a healthy lifestyle.” Big difference. Eating and drinking should be enjoyable – not a chore. And yes, I do believe that although cave people did not partake in a nice glass of Pinot Grigio, there is room in my life for some alcohol – as long as I don’t go overboard with the sugar. (I did not consume alcohol or limited it severely during different stages of my gluten ataxia “homework”)

I believe everyone must find what fuel works best for his or her body. Paleo works for me and I believe it will work for many people with autoimmunity or other dis-ease in order to keep your body’s functions as calm as possible so it can do the work of keeping you vibrant. And if you are already healthy or thinking about owning your shift, the mental and physical changes will blow your mind! Who wouldn’t want more energy and vitality and then be able to share more of yourself with your loved ones? To travel? To participate in more fun activities? To thrive? Easy digestion gives the body one less thing to worry about. I wish I had done this several years ago, right when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s – perhaps my health journey would have been different. I want to offer this option and information to you so you can get healthier faster, save yourself time, money and frustration – and feel fantastic!

I look forward to sharing this food journey with you and welcome you into my kitchen as I get excited about new healthy concoctions and discoveries! I have been experimenting with all things Paleo, gluten free, egg free, raw, vegetarian and vegan. Let’s own this shift!

Let’s Change the Body Conversation

Want to get really in tune with the gloriousness that is your body?  Have it fall apart completely. Wake up one day and your legs work. Wake up another and they don’t. Same with your brain. Especially your brain. Have abilities. Lose abilities. Have abilities. Lose abilities. Have abilities. (Wanted to end that on an upswing!) Those able-bodied days become the biggest gifts from the universe. On a good day you could throw me in the most ridiculous, embarrassing outfit with dirty hair, no make-up and I would be raring to go anywhere in the world. Meet a celebrity. Sure. Run into an ex-boyfriend? Bring it on. Run…just run? Yes please! I could  care less about having the perfect appearance or the “perfect” body.  A perfect body to me is a healthy, happy body.

I do not exaggerate when I say that I now look at my legs with complete awe and wonder. They are beautiful and serve so many functions. One foot in front of the other without stumbling or tripping or swaying? You rock legs. You rock. I place my hands regularly on my belly and send it love – it is the core of my immune system running the entire show – it needs the love! You don’t ache every day anymore? You gorgeous, gorgeous untoned belly. Hips? They are gaining power. Their size? Don’t care. Are they helping me move? Excellent. The more function I get back in my arms, the more I celebrate. They have lost lots of muscle tone and I embrace the flabbiness of them. Flabby is fine. Flabby is beautiful. They are a work in progress. They move. They lift. They carry. They are amazing.

In this body journey, I have been constantly bombarded by media messages which pick apart women’s parts, a world in which no size or shape ever seems to be right and one’s body always seems to be elusively chasing a time when it will achieve perfection. Summer body. Bikini body. Before and after body. How about healthy body?  How about 365 days of the year awesome body? I want to bellow for the world to hear: None of this negative body talk matters!  And you know what? It really, really doesn’t.

LiisOnLife_BodyBeautiful

So let’s continue to change the body conversation. Let’s love ourselves today – not tomorrow or next week or next year. If you have made health and fitness changes, if you’ve lost weight, let’s not disrespect the beautiful body that carried you to today, that is a vital and wonderful part of your life journey. If you’ve gained weight, honour and truly love your present self and future self and not look constantly to your “before” self. Same amazing body your entire life – just a different form. Different forms of totally amazeballs you. Most importantly, let’s change the body conversation for the next generation. Let’s enable little girls to grow up knowing their bodies rock, that their body parts and quirks and differences are beautiful, that diversity is amazing…let them emulate our Body Rock philosophy knowing it is the norm and not the exception. Let’s have them grow up thinking having a “summer body” or “bikini body” are the most ridiculous phrases they’ve ever heard.

Please share this graphic and help change the conversation. #rockyourbody

Always Think Like a Kid

Why do we love and admire children so much?  Why do they make us laugh even when they are doing everyday activities?  I know why.  Kids lead honest lives and adults lie.  We do. Let me explain.

Kids do not deny themselves simple everyday pleasures.  Adults do.  Kids do not stifle their feelings.  Adults do.  When a child is tired, she acts up or passes out mid-sentence in her stroller. She is going to sleep come hell or high water.  If a kid wants to do something fun, she will try to plow through an adult in order to try to get her way. Imagination is the cornerstone of a child’s world. And what do adults do? Adults keep up appearances for other adults. Everything that we loved to do as children, we kvetch and moan about as adults.

All that was fun and made us truly happy, we deny ourselves. Think about all the great pleasures of childhood: making snow angels, building snow forts and sand castles, tasting rain and snow on our tongues, plunking down on the floor wherever and whenever, having daily naps, finger painting and exploring with art, dancing – usually with no rhythm – to any kind of music, getting dirty,  singing loudly and out of tune, reading countless books, exploring any and all toys and games, jumping in rain puddles, swimming for hours, watching fireflies and catching bugs and frogs, jumping in leaves and kicking them down the street….the list could go on. So why don’t adults do any of the things that make children so happy, that used to make them so happy?  Because they choose to live in reality at all times instead of basking in the magic of imagination.

I made a vow not to become a boring adult, not to think like an adult all the time.  I like to think of myself as a very mature 13-year-old – one foot in childhood and one in adulthood.  It seems a happy balance and I think of myself as a very happy person.  I still jump in puddles.  I ALWAYS kick leaves down the street. I make snow AND sand angels.  I just sprawled out in the grass recently to stare up at the sky in order to find shapes in the clouds.  It just seems like an important thing to do regularly.  If you find me in a bookstore, chances are I have plunked down in the middle of the floor. But it’s dirty you say! Trust me, my kitchen floor is probably dirtier. In fact, I know it is.

Why are so many adults terrified of karaoke?  I can’t sing for beans but I woo the crowd with my paltry Tina Turner moves.  They are laughing so hard they don’t care what noise is coming out of my mouth.  FYI – they are laughing with me, not at me. (I like to think of myself as a “karaoke entertainer,” not a singer.) Laughter is fun, no?  You didn’t care when you were a kid and you sang badly every single chance you had driving your parents completely and utterly nuts, so why do you care what everyone thinks now?  Trust me brave, amazing person, we’ve got your back! 

I remember when I was living in Brooklyn, New York one summer.  I had gone to the library for the afternoon – as a model with lots of go-sees and time to kill, I got to know the various New York libraries very well. I walked out the doors to the biggest downpour I had seen in years. Torrential. Build-an-ark torrential.  It didn’t look like it would let up for hours. I stood at the entrance with about 40 people all of whom were terrified of the rain and apparently would be standing there for the rest of the day waiting it out.  What was the worst that would happen to me and what were my options?  I would get wet – big deal – or I could hang out with the petrified, trembling crowd all day.  So, I started to walk.

I was soaked right through to my underwear in 10 seconds but didn’t really care. To my amusement, people were running as if trying to escape a stampede. Parents were freaking out, yelling. They in turn had children screaming and wailing. Mad dashes with strollers ensued and Brooklyn had become a crazed chaos. It was a scene from a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Panic overtook the streets.

Over water.

Everyone was losing it.

Over water.

Just when I thought every adult in the city had lost his mind I saw something I will never forget.  A father had his young son in his arms.  It had been scorching hot earlier so the little one was just wearing his diaper and shorts. They were being pelted by rain and the child looked quizzically at his father trying to figure out what kind of reaction he was going to have, lip trembling, awaiting the sign to start wailing like all the other kids. Much to the child’s surprise and amusement, with a huge grin on his face, his father took him and started to dance in the middle of the empty street.  Time froze as the two danced and laughed and thoroughly enjoyed the downpour. The child took his cue from his father and I saw his face transform from confused indecision bordering on panic to sheer joy and bliss. I slowed down to watch in the pelting rain and was thrilled to have walked home in order to share in this experience.  That child will always love rain storms.  That child will know he can establish his own positive energy no matter what others are doing.  He will grow up to be a fun, chilled adult because his father knew how to be a kid.

Think about this the next time you are caught in the rain.  When we were kids, we couldn’t wait to go play in the sprinklers, go to the community pool, jump into a lake even if the bottom was all gushy.  I have revelled in watching the sheer joy on the faces of children playing in the freezing water spraying from fire hydrants in New York, escaping the steaming concrete.  We ran to the water with glee as youngsters and now we run from it. Why?

It’s quite simple really. Adults shouldn’t bring children into this world to help them bring back what they have forgotten. That is not their responsibility. We should bring children into this world to share with them what we remember. So go jump in some puddles already, wish upon a star, sing horribly at the top of your lungs or build a lopsided sand castle. Just don’t wait for a child to ask you. You can do it. Go.

Make Morning Meditation as Important as Brushing Your Teeth

Would you ever leave home without brushing your teeth? Of course not. Really gross. (And if you do, well, um, we can’t be friends) The thought of it would never occur to you. It is something necessary to feel good, to feel refreshed, to start your day. Without ever questioning it, it is simply a vital part of your morning routine.

It only takes a couple minutes.

You do it every single day without fail.

You feel better after.

So what about a morning meditation? Before you offer up a million and one excuses as to why this won’t work, hear me out…

I am still on my healing journey with cerebellar gluten ataxia and will be (lovingly) doing health homework for well, forever. In a nutshell, gluten was affecting the part of my brain which controls motor skills and tap dancing on my nerves. Walking became laboured to say the least and my world became one of sensory overload. The combo of a few minute walk to a din-filled restaurant would take me down before the entrees hit the table. But the one thing that always helped calm down all the symptoms and still does is meditation.

I have always loved meditating and can peacefully sit in silence for long periods of time, on a bench, under a tree,  in crowded areas, in the middle of a rock concert if need be and would do it sporadically. When the pain and exhaustion was too much I would often listen to ocean waves or calm music if I couldn’t quiet my own cranium. Then one day it hit me, if meditation always made me feel so good, helped me to walk better, helped calm down my nervous system and cleared my brain, why wasn’t I doing it every day?  I love fruits and vegetables and eat them every day because they are good for me. Well…meditation is good for me too. And every day seemed like a good idea.

Autoimmunity has forced me to create some new morning routines to keep my wellness on track. I decided to add meditation to the list. I quietly sit down every morning after brushing my teeth and showering.  I usually sit for anywhere from five minutes to ten , sometimes longer.  Even a couple minutes is a gift every morning and lets me start my day on a calm, peaceful, yet energetic note.  Most times I am able to sit with a clear mind but if it does wander, I may choose that morning to set some intentions for my day or give thanks for the positives in my life. And if something pops in my head unexpectedly, I don’t try to push it away, I question what I am to learn from it. There are no words to describe how grounding – and necessary this morning ritual has become.

I don’t have kids so I can already see the parents rolling their eyes. I hear you! I know mornings with kids can be crazy. But if your mornings are hectic, where can you slot in the calm? If you have little ones running around, and literally don’t have 2 minutes of peace, here are some suggestions:

Close your eyes in the shower and calm your mind for even a minute – sit if you want to – why not?

Listen to a relaxing meditation be it sounds or music in your car, on the subway or on your commuter train

Take turns with your partner getting the kids ready in the mornings so you both can carve out a couple minutes to meditate on alternate days

Get up a few minutes before everyone else and alter your morning routine slightly

I am not what you would call a morning person so the fact that this is my new normal is shocking even to me! But I’ve grown to crave it. I can’t imagine missing it. It has become as vital and normal as brushing my teeth.  For those of you thinking of how crazy your mornings are, those of you still rolling your eyes at me right now, I leave you with this – can you carve 5 minutes out of your lunchtime or break every day? And just sayin’…you also brush your teeth every night before going to bed…  Pick a time that works for you and stick with it for 2 weeks.  Looking forward to hearing how you feel.

No, Thank You!

There are two types of people who completely mess up the compliment process.  I like to label these folks Rebounders and Blockers. Unfortunately, it’s generally women. Let’s break these down shall we? 

Several years back I was chatting with my dear friend Meghan and she paid me a compliment.  As per conditioning and without hesitation, I cheerfully fired a compliment right back at her.  She stared at me, paused and said,” As women, we have zero concept of how to accept a compliment.  We don’t even let it absorb before we feel compelled to send one right back. We need to stop doing this!” As this nugget of wisdom sunk in, I admitted, much to my chagrin, that I was in fact acting like a Rebounder. We talked about this compliment rebounding debacle in depth and realized how very real it was. We made a pact to simply be thankful for a compliment and accept it with a simple “thank you.”  Do you have any idea how hard this was in the beginning?

It actually took me several months of reconditioning to accept a compliment without feeling obligated to send one back. It took me a long time to simply say thanks and leave it at that. This was a gift being given to me.  I did not have to instantly give a gift back.  It’s like your birthday – it’s your special day once per year that earns you presents and praise.  On someone else’s birthday, you give presents and praise.  You would never feel obligated to give your friend a gift on your birthday after receiving one right?  Why? Because we all need individual times to shine and there is a time and a place for everything.

I would love to tell you how I started the “Be a Rebounder No More Revolution” but Meghan instigated all this cleverness. Through our discussions I realized that you actually diminish the energy you are giving another when you fire back a compliment in response to one received.  It is a reflexive statement not a deep generated thought. And you diminish the beautiful energy coming your way by not fully accepting a compliment as a gift with no strings attached. 

This little experiment has taught me much over the years. I make a deeper connection when someone pays me a compliment.  I really listen to what is being said versus trying to come up with an instant comeback.  The compliment resonates deeply within me and I am thrilled that someone has gone out of her way to say something nice. I am happier receiving a compliment as a true gift.  I in turn take care to pay more people compliments but very genuine ones from my heart that aren’t “paybacks” but built upon something truly nice or remarkable that person has done that reflects who she is. This way the compliment is all about her and not an extension of the one sent to me.

Now, with a great track record of accepting compliments, I don’t feel so guilty being a reformed Rebounder especially when I look at the competition – the Blockers.  You know exactly who I’m talking about!  These women never accept a compliment and in fact start putting themselves down to fend off the positivity coming their way.  It wouldn’t be so bad if they just mumbled out of shyness – it’s far worse than that.  When a Blocker is paid a compliment saying how nice she looks, she will loudly exclaim,” What are you talking about? I look terrible. A-w-f-u-l! Like crap! Are you serious?” And if you tell her you like her blouse, she’ll say,” This old thing?  Are you kidding me?”  Not only has she rebuffed a compliment and completely put herself down, she has gone one step further – she has insulted the judgment of the person trying to give it! Hell, she has insulted the complimenter (Is that a word?…It is now)  period! My rebounding isn’t looking so bad now is it?

If we go back to the entire birthday scenario, Blockers are in essence refusing the gifts given to them.  How rude is that?  How would that attitude go down at a party?

“Here’s your gift.”

“I don’t want it. I don’t deserve it.”

“But it’s a really great gift. You will like it! I got it especially for you.”

“I cannot accept it. Take it back and don’t give me a gift again.”

“Sorry to have offended you. I thought it would make you happy.” (Note to self while shaking head: She despises gifts. Don’t buy her any more. She’s cut off)

Kind of a crappy birthday don’t you think? 

I believe accepting compliments and thus accepting positive energy is so important for the psyche, empowerment and a positive body image that I do an exercise similar to this with the girls’ groups I work with. Trust me, a six-year-old thinks it’s ridiculous to refuse a gift! Good. I want them to carry that sentiment into their later years.

Look at your own life and how you and your family and friends give and receive compliments.  Most importantly, know that little ears hear what you say and mimic what you do. Don’t let them think they are anything less than fiercely amazing! By all means, keep giving but realize what beautiful energy exists in receiving as well.  Enjoy the gift.

Heart & Soul: 91-Years-Young Harriett Thompson Breaks Marathon Record

Oh Harriett, I want to be just like you when I grow up. In June of this year, 91-years-young Harriett Thompson completed her 15th marathon in 16 years in San Diego finishing in 7 hours, 7 minutes and 42 seconds. She crushed the previous record time for her age category by almost 3 hours despite having just finished treatments for skin cancer a month prior. Upon finishing and after completing a myriad of press interviews, she walked through a tunnel created by the joined hands of inspired volunteers, runners and walkers honouring her accomplishment.

Aside from running, the marathoner (I really like saying that) also actively participates in yoga and stretching classes and works out on an elliptical machine. As a former concert pianist, she finds it helpful to mentally play old piano pieces she had performed in the past to get through the long miles of the marathon. Inspiring – at any age.

“If I’m still (alive),” she told competitor.com, “I’ll be back next year.”

Oh, and for those of you thinking perhaps it’s too late to start that hobby or sport you’ve always wanted to try, Harriett took up jogging at 76…

Enough said.

Photo Credit: 98.1 KMBZ

Has Your Look Evolved Out of Conscious Creativity or Habit?

My closet looks happy. It looks like this website – bright, serene and colourful and reflects all aspects of my personality.  I like to think I have created a website that is peacefully energetic and think my clothing looks the same. But this wasn’t always the case and it took purging my closet and preparing the photos for this site to really wake me up.

Staring at my closet has caused me to ponder the evolution of my wardrobe which in turn meant the evolution of “my look.” Because I am a Taurus, my closet has always been really well organized and ahem, colour blocked. This wasn’t as much for my closet to look neat and tidy, it was more like in a mad dash, I really wanted to be able to find something quickly. For many years of my modelling career, I would literally have to drop everything and rush to the airport to catch a flight. I often would not know in the morning that by evening I would be in another country. Crazy but true.  Often times I had a bag ready to go in the trunk of my car and my passport in my purse.

So what did I pack? Black everything. Black pants. Black top. Black boots. All black. The textures generally coordinated and everything mixed and matched and any piece I hurriedly threw in my suitcase would look great. It worked then. But…I hadn’t been in that dizzying travel space for years…yet my wardrobe stayed in that energy. This hit me when I was looking for outfits to wear for the shoot for this site. I knew the vibrancy of my life , the upbeat energy I was now sitting in after a long health journey and the energy I wanted to project through my website – and my wardrobe was energetically out of alignment. I frequently encourage women to think outside the box with their fashion choices and I wasn’t following my own advice.

Something bigger hit me.  I owned several pieces that had become a crutch for me throughout my health journey. Because my size could radically change due to inflammation, and my body became so sensitive to fabrics, there were months that I actually looked pregnant and nothing fit or felt good. I wore one pair of stretch jeans, a couple baggy black tops and leggings constantly simply because they fit and didn’t hurt. This was not a consciously created look – it was “a look” created out of necessity. I realized this clothing held a lot of painful energy. Interestingly enough, when I made this realization, my jeans literally split in half – and not in a way that could be salvaged in a seam – right in the fabric. Time for change. Hello! The universe is knocking…on my closet door!

As my size evolved throughout my health journey, I started to slowly change my wardrobe. I donated items to charities and consigned others. I made a point of not buying anything black.  I asked sales associates to bring me items they thought would look good on me but only in bright colours. I didn’t balk at any item that appeared and was intrigued to like colours and styles I would not have picked for myself. The black section of my closet started to shrink and more colour started to appear. I would actually stare at it and smile knowing this was another part of me coming out of my dis-ease – living life in colour so to speak.

Do I still wear black clothing? Yes. I do love the look of all black and having dark basics to mix and match is just smart.  But when you hear excited comments from every single person you know along the lines of, ”You look great in that colour,” you should listen to those that know you best! Black is now but one amazing colour in my wardrobe equally balanced by several others. There are days I am in the mood for bold red, stripes, bright blue and many others, and yes, there are days I am in the mood for black. We all have many facets to our personalities and it is important to honour all of them. Wearing that bright yellow jacket in photos on this site is me owning my shift – leaping into a new energy…or more importantly, an energy that has been in me the entire time that needed to be awakened.(And I so enjoyed freaking out all my friends who never would have expected me to buy a yellow jacket) (Still laughing about it)

So, I ask you, are you making a conscious statement in your clothing or are you dressing and buying items, styles or colours out of habit? Does your wardrobe fit the energy you want in your life?  Without spending a lot of money, what small changes can you make to honour all of you through the outfits you choose to wear?  Let your beautiful self shine through every day!

Fashionably Speaking: Mo and His Bows Will Win Your Heart

 

I am quite smitten with any child who creates a company so when I saw Moziah Bridges, the dynamic, passionate and sharp 11 year old CEO of Mo’s Bows winning over the tough judges on Shark Tank I couldn’t stop grinning. I admired the fact that the sharks turned down his investment request because they said he was already on the right path. Daymond John, the founder of FUBU, strongly suggested he not take any financial offers and extended his mentoring service instead. I cheered out loud in my living room.

mosbows-2

Mo – the nickname he uses – was accustomed to seeing his father and grandfather looking dapper in three-piece suits growing up. He asked his grandmother to teach him to sew at the age of 9 after being inspired by singers like the Jonas Brothers who would sport bow ties and because he couldn’t find any he liked. And now at the ripe old age of 12, his bow ties reflect his sunny disposition and he selects the fabrics himself offering a variety of colours in polka dots, plaid and several other patterns for $40. And don’t think his creations are just for the guys – Mo’s Bows are worn by males and females of all ages.

Mo has just expanded into pocket squares with the goal of creating neck ties and other accessories in the future. Did I mention he has already surpassed $30,000 in sales, uses some funds to send kids to camp and sells in shops and boutiques in 7 states as well as online? This kid rocks. Watch the video below and try not to grin. I dare you.

So, if you need a bow tie or know somebody that does, consider supporting Mo and his company. We need to encourage amazing entrepreneurial kids like this so they can in turn inspire more kids – and the world.

In Grandma’s Garden

When I think of my grandma, and I say this with the utmost respect and awe, I think of dirt and dill. The yield she got out of her tiny garden was mind blowing. And it forms many of my fondest childhood memories.

We’d have many conversations about good dirt and bad dirt. One had to have good dirt. Very important. Good dirt was created by composting and tenderly cultivating the garden throughout the year. Take from the garden, put back in the garden. Several years after she has passed, I can still vividly see her hardworking hands holding a handful of rich, dark dirt. I can smell the fresh scent of it mixed with the aroma of onions and dill. The sensory experience of her amazing Hungarian cooking didn’t start the second you walked in the door of the house for a visit, it started weeks before in the garden cultivating the food for the meal for that visit. If it was winter, the experience started months before when she took fresh vegetables and pickled countless jars of pickles, beets, peppers and relish.

Luisa Windischmann

Luisa Windischmann

There was no better way to insult my grandma than to bring her fresh cut flowers. Why would anyone kill a flower before its time? Take it from the soil when someone else could still enjoy it? The rule in our house was that when visiting, potted plants as presents were the way to go. If it had roots and was in dirt, it was safe. It still amuses and delights me to know that her connection to the earth was so strong that this energy carried over to what we brought her for Mother’s Day and Easter and just becauses.

I believe the experiences we had as children stay with us and being in my grandmother’s garden, feeling the dirt in my tiny little hands, absorbing her lessons and knowledge is a part of who I am. Craving fresh vegetables is a part of my being because she instilled in me the love of being actively involved in the energy of the food that I eat. I still delight in encouraging others to try kohlrabi. To this day not many people know what it is. When I was younger, kids would ask,”You’re eating karate? How do you eat karate?”

The garden was a complete sensory experience – feeling the moist dirt in my hands as I tugged vegetables into a huge basket, smelling onions and dill mingled with roses and fresh cut grass, watching birds and animals nibble on sunflower seeds and leaves – and laughing hysterically as my grandpa shooed them away. And to this day, every time it rains, I can still hear my grandparents chime, “Well, it’s good for the farmers.” Rain was always a nourishing blessing, never a curse. And it wasn’t eating that was the most important part of my visits – the entire food cycle was vital and fun. I felt just as proud to take scraps out to the compost as I did bringing vegetables into the house. Subconsciously I knew every part of the process was nourishing the garden – and me.

I don’t feel the need to visit my grandma’s tombstone often because her energy is in a nourishing garden, in fresh picked vegetables, in the air, in the smell of dill at a farmers’ market or beautifully scented wild roses. But when I do go, I would never think to bring fresh cut flowers. She would be mad. I bring instead a large sprig of dill and the scent wafts over the beautiful grounds. I figure if an animal nibbles on it or carries it away she would be thrilled.