It’s my birthday tomorrow. The big 44. Power 4 to the 4. Bring it on 44. The number I dreamed about as a child. My fave number. As in 4+4=8=Infinity. My power year. It’s also International No Diet Day. I think it is positively delicious that this empowering day falls on my birthday every year and My Magical Birthday this May! Lucky me!
I don’t know how it started…all I know is that on every sports team when I had a choice to pick a number, I would try to get 44. If it wasn’t available, I would try for 4, 8 or 16 – any version of 4-4 I could get my hands on. When something like a 17 or a 5 was available I wasn’t too thrilled. I’d grin and bear it all season while hoping and praying the next sport on my list would have a different set of number choices. Other girls would zero in on the colour of a shirt, I went for the number on it.
My entire life I have felt that my 44th year on this planet would be magical. I’d have everything in place – the perfect guy, the perfect career, house, you name it. My Magical Birthday would go down in Bora Bora or somewhere similar. A mystical astrologer even confirmed several years ago that my lifelong gut feeling that every aspect of my life would come into place in my 44th year. I left his place grinning.
I did not factor into my 44ness however, several years of feeling like crap leading up to it. Or the amount of resources and frustration that would go into feeling better. Or the fact that walking, talking and simply being would become so difficult for so long. This was all not in The 44 Plan!
But I sit here today, one day before the Magical 44 Year begins, I am so energized, so grateful, so filled with love that my heart could burst. I never knew it was possible to sit in such sheer and utter gratitude. To be so happy. I am not in Bora Bora, not dating or married and my bathroom is being ripped apart in the room beside me and dust is everywhere. My house is a revamp disaster zone. And I am grinning. What gifts I have been given leading up to this day, this year, this new part of my life. What magic exists in knowing, truly knowing, what is really important in life, what makes your heart soar, what makes your eyes sparkle and your soul wanna get up and dance. What makes you sing at the top of your lungs in your car as amused drivers laugh beside you. That kind of happy.
I have had my old energy – the I-can-light-the-world-on-fire energy – this past month. My walking and everyday energy has been quite amazing for 30 days. Yesterday I had a quite a full day working with Inside the Dream, one of my fave organizations making change in the world and my system got taken to the limit from the activity. And my walking and talking had moments of well, slightly wandering away. But I bounced back. And today I bounced back even more. There used to be no bounce back. I sit in gratitude for the bounce back. For when bounce back stretches into forever.
The past couple years leading up to My Magical Birthday, I went from envisioning where in the world I would be lavishly celebrating and with whom to simply wanting one thing: Universe, please allow my brain to work. Please allow me to be creative again, be able to think and contribute to this planet. If my body won’t work, if I won’t be able to walk properly, if my arms will remain weak, please just allow my brain to work. Let it be connected to my heart and soul and be able tell stories, to be able to talk with people. To have meaningful experiences. To make a difference even in some small way.
And today, my brain works. There is no better gift in the entire universe than having your brain work. To be able to think. Create. Brainstorm. Plot. Plan. Dream. Envision endless possibilities. Express who you really are. Express who you want to be. Talk to the universe. THAT is truly magical. I don’t need to be in Bora Bora tomorrow to open up that gift!
Just so you know….I plan to rock The 44th (day,year, forever) like the ceiling can’t hold me , dance like everybody is watching because I don’t give a damn, and rock the hell out of getaways near and far. I plan to sing loudly and most likely out of tune, smile and talk to strangers and go on adventures. And I will relish the act of thinking, creating and enjoying all the nuances of life I used to take for granted. And I will walk and exercise because I can, not because I should or feel like I have to but because it is a thrill to have the privilege to do so.
Bring on the magic. Bring on the fun. Here’s to looking forward to birthdays the older we get and being excited to celebrate another year, to admire the laugh lines on our faces that means we have lived, loved and laughed. To appreciate the amazing gifts, abilities and qualities our bodies provide. Here is to having our cake and eating it too and celebrating International No Diet Day knowing our bodies are amazing works of art, masterpieces gradually lovingly receiving more beautiful touches of paint. To living IN healthy and happy lifestyles not being ON diets we can fall off.
This is THE year.
The Magical Year.
The everything and anything is possible year.
Game on 44. Game on.