Archive for month: June, 2015

Remember when you were a kid and you would finish bawling your eyes out and your mom or dad would tenderly say,”All done now?  Feel better?”  You would whimper, shake your head up and down to say YES, suck back a few last gulps of air, wipe the snot off your face and a big, loving, parental hand would wipe the tears from your face. Maybe you were overtired. Maybe you were frustrated. Maybe your were disappointed. Maybe you were sad. Maybe you were overwhelmed. Maybe you were mad. Maybe you had no idea what was wrong but your tears sparked a conversation getting to the root of the matter. This wasn’t an Oscar worthy performance to get your way with something. This was a genuine expression of emotion. And that genuine expression of emotion was valued, honoured and respected by your parent.

So when did it become so CRAZY and WEIRD and WRONG to bawl your eyes out once in a while?  To release emotions and physical overload your mind, body and soul needs to set free to the universe?  To release whatever your body needs to release so it doesn’t settle into your cells, into your mitochondria and cause future states of dis-ease and blockages?  (Don’t get me wrong – if you are bawling daily, you need to get yourself to a loving healthcare provider that can get to the root of your dis-ease – you deserve big smiles daily!)

I’ve had an interesting journey with crying over the last few years. I knew it wasn’t from being depressed, moody, sad or from hormonal changes with Hashimoto’s. When I had tried to get through a Pilates class and do certain moves, I would start crying – partly from frustration but the majority of it was a natural response. When I would try to lift my limbs in certain ways that were impossible, I would involuntarily start to cry. It wasn’t until I was in physiotherapy with the incredible team at Neuro-fit Systems for my gluten ataxia that I put the why-the-heck-am-I-crying-again pieces together. My body was in sensory overload and my personal reaction when it got pushed to its limits was to burst out crying. It’s kind of like pouring liquid into a full glass – the contents have to go somewhere so they spill over. My spillover automatic reflex was to start crying. For others it may have been a temper tantrum, aggression, acting out, walking away completely from the stimulus. My body needed to release emotion, needed to release pressure somehow and it chose crying. Just tilting my head back on certain days was shocking to my system – and I bawled.  My amazing physiotherapists helped me work through this and the reaction continued to lessen. But here is the thing:  I always felt better after. My body instinctively knew what it was doing. It loosened my system to help accept the new action, massaged and softened the response from my panicking nervous system. It helped my body by saying,”This is going to be difficult but we’re going to throw in a tool to make it easier.”

As I keep lovingly pushing my body to increasing levels of ability, I don’t flinch if I start to cry. And outside of that, I now welcome a good ole cry every once in a while. And not because it is an involuntary response, but because my soul needs to purge, to throw it all down on the table. To get it out there for examination. For reflection. Because my massive levels of frustration over the last few years justifies the release. Because it makes me a better person. Makes me stronger. Happier. More vibrant. It’s something natural, instinctual that society has quashed once we left childhood – especially in males. I look forward to sharing my life with a man that isn’t embarrassed to cry once in a while, that sees the benefits in this release – and sees no shame. For there should be no shame in crying for anyone.

Think about the value in crying, when someone is in mourning, what are the comments ofter heard? When someone delays their grief, doesn’t shed a tear, what do people often say?

You should cry. It’s good for you to let it all out.

I’m here for you. You can cry on my shoulder any time day or night.

Just let it out. You need to let it out.

Poor thing, she is only delaying the grieving process. This will catch up with her eventually.

She didn’t cry at all. I am really worried about her.

I have an empowering a-couple-of-times-a-year cry dialogue with a friend. The scenario could flip and be either one of us depending on the month or the year. It goes something like this:

I went to the lake today and just bawled. Left it all there. Felt great after. Lighter. Better. More refreshed.

Oh! Good for you! Wish I could have a good bawlfest right around now. I really need one.

I hope you do. It felt great. My brain is clear. My soul is clear. It opened up more room.

I am so jealous right now.

Don’t worry, when you need to bawl, you will.

What did you do after?

I went home and was so inspired and wrote all afternoon, jotted down tons of notes for a new project, reorganized my office, went to a yoga class, connected with an incredible new business contact and ….

Would you think it crazy, weird or wrong to get a much needed massage for your overworked body? Go to a yoga, Pilates or fitness class?  Treat your body well with a healthy meal or green smoothie?  Go to physiotherapy? Meditate to soothe your mind, body and soul? Go to a relaxing spa day? Spend a quiet day with an inspiring book? A good cry every once in a while is just as healthy as any of these options. Let’s flip the switch on how we look at this gift from our bodies.  Let’s see all the benefits it offers. Let’s honour animalistic traits that are a part of the human experience that have been suppressed when they should be viewed as natural – and necessary.

Welcome a good cry session every once in a while. Be thankful for the release.  Be thankful that your body is helping you out, keeping you on track, keeping you healthy. Embrace it and know there is nothing crazy, weird or wrong about it in any way.  It’s just a wonderful part of you.