It’s Never Too Late To Decide Who You Want To Be

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I can still remember the 2 careers my high school aptitude test with its multitude of questions revealed as being best suited to my skills and personality – movie director and minister. I still chuckle at how diverse they are in many ways. Having no interest then in film or a religious pursuit, these careers were met with laughs and eye rolls by my guidance counsellor, friends and family. “There is NO way you are going to be either one of those,” friends would joke.  The general consensus was that somehow the test was flawed.  I now realize had those ideas been explored and had we been able to look past those exact titles, they exemplified my skills to a T.

I went to university because I knew I needed to further my education – but I had no idea what I wanted to do. I got a degree in English Literature not because I necessarily wanted one, I knew it interested me and I was good at it. Quite frankly, I had no clue as to what I wanted to do with my life. And after getting my degree, I literally had no idea how to transfer my three years of newfound knowledge into a career.

Sometimes when you don’t know the direction you are supposed to take, the universe, fate, a higher power – whatever you want to call it – steps in and puts you on the path you are meant to travel. While walking through a shopping mall one day in my early 20s, I was stopped by a model scout …and my almost 25 year career as a model began. And where did it take me? Onto a plethora of TV shows, learning the ins and outs of live television, sound, lighting, angles and how to be outgoing to make the segment shine. I later went on to be an on-air TV host and create fashion shows with a million and one moving parts behind the scenes that I needed to have an eye on at all times. Not exactly a movie director but so many similar skills in a multitude of ways.

My career instilled in me the need to share positivity around body image and self-esteem and I speak regularly to groups of girls and teens about media literacy. And after having a major life shift due to developing  autoimmunity, I have been connecting  to even more groups – in lectures, online, in interviews and on TV about creating a spiritual connection with oneself, about finding love and happiness in our lives. I recently realized, minus the religious connotation, how many similarities there are in my career skill set and that of a minister.

Many people want to create a career change but just don’t know what they love. They don’t know what will light them up day in and day out. If this sounds like you, think back to when you were younger, before being  convinced certain ideas were impossibilities, before ideas were put into boxes and shoved away. Think back to what truly interested you before the world – friends and family, finances, cultural norms told you to think otherwise. Or take an online aptitude test and be open to what YOU, through your answers, are revealing are your strengths. And don’t get hung up on formal career titles like I did – be open and explore!

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It is never too late to be who you really want to be and who you are meant to be, to do what you were put on this earth to do. You are never too old to reinvent yourself and express your true talents. There are always signs on the road pointing us in the right direction – we must however be open to seeing and accepting them. At 45, I believe I am only now truly melding my passion and my skill set. I am finally reaching into my backpack and using all the tools that have been there all along.  You are right on track no matter what age or stage you are at. Like an incredible meal, sometimes we just need some sweet time to marinate…

PSST! I write weekly on this seriously juicy book loving site.  This article originally appeared there. You can catch this article and my other articles and other really great ones by fabulous writers over here.

Wellness Tips For The Home Business Owner

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Let’s be honest. The benefits of working at home can be quite glorious. Typing away on your computer in your sweatpants or pyjamas is something you may very well brag about. Setting your own hours and taking a break from work whenever you want is a very liberating experience. Having a satisfying career making money working at home creating your own rules and being able to spend more time with your family is definitely a lifestyle most people would long for.

I do everything from my home office. Brainstorming. Content creation. Social media. Networking. Conference calls. The list could go on and on. I plan my day, I plan my career – and I absolutely love it. The thought of commuting and being on a strict 9-5 schedule causes me to break out in a cold sweat. Most of my best creativity is done at night long after regular office hours. But I am also coming out of a period of having been very sick for several years and trying to play catch up with every aspect of my life. As much as I want to hustle, I need to protect and honour my energy that I have worked so hard to restore.  So, I have created home business guidelines to keep myself happy and healthy while building my business that can inspire you to do the same.  Because, if you keep burning the candle at both ends…you will eventually have no candle!

Honour Your Meal Time

How many of us have been guilty of shoving food in our mouths while trying to read and type? Sometimes for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Guilty as charged. Just as you would step away from your desk for a meal if you worked in an office space, step away from your home work space for your meals.  If lunch only takes 15 minutes, use the rest of the time away from your desk.

Take Breaks

After years of limited mobility, movement is far too important and cherished so I do an activity every day. Set a couple 15 minute break times each day (or evening depending on your work schedule) to get outside for a walk, bike ride or other activity to get some oxygen in your lungs, sun on your face and to get the creative juices flowing. If you are like me and get so enthralled with what you are doing that you lose track of time, set a pleasant sounding tone on your phone alarm to prompt you to get outside. With the limited sun in the winter where I live, I make sure to set those times when the sun is at its brightest. Or if getting outside is not an option, do some indoor stretches or lunges across your kitchen! Stop, drop and plank in your living room. Just move.

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Schedule Out of Office Meetings & Work Sessions

Bringing in new energy and ideas helps our businesses thrive. If you literally find yourself working in your pyjamas far too often, make a point of setting up a coffee or lunch get together with a friend or colleague to brainstorm. Or reach out to someone in your online business social media circle to connect in person. Regularly set up work time outside your home in a local coffee shop or shared work space for a change of environment.

Turn Off Technology & Set Office Hours

Are you married to your phone? If you can’t think of the last time you went technology-free for a weekend you need to schedule a meeting with yourself. Are you answering emails that aren’t a high priority at midnight? Obviously depending on your job, prompt responses to customers may be necessary. Ask yourself this question: What am I doing out of habit and what needs to be done by necessity?

Set A Bedtime

We are adults so this may sound ridiculous but how many of us find our sleep schedules all over the place because we just want to do ONE MORE THING?  I found myself writing into all hours of the night (disclaimer – I don’t have kids to wake me up) and slowly found my creativity fading in the day. No matter what is going on, I shut my computer off at midnight at the very latest and give my eyes time to relax while reading a chapter of a good book before going to bed. I am more alert and creative throughout my work day. Our home offices need regular closing hours.

Remember to be good to you so your business can be good to others!

PSST! I write weekly on this seriously juicy book loving site.  This article originally appeared there. You can catch this article and my other articles and other really great ones by fabulous writers over here.

Laughter Really Is the Best Medicine

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The last few years have been seriously filled with a million and one utterly beautiful life lessons. I appreciate them with every fiber of my being. And then some. And then more. I have learned so much about myself, the world and my place in it. While going through and earning my PHD – Personal Health Discoveries – I got down to what really matters on every level. I really could not have asked for better schooling to appreciate this world in every minute detail. But here is the thing…like any serious studying with an incredible reward at the end of the tunnel, there has been little to no fun in the process. Zilch. No laughter. No belly laughs. Lots of pulling hair out wondering when it would all finally be over. (Ok…and with Hashimoto’s, it just kinda fell out on its own…) Let’s be frank here, with as much beauty as I have found and discovered in the pain and frustration of autoimmunity, there were vast swatches of sheer and utter suckage. No laughter. Lots of suckage. And I have become determined to bring the funny back. I NEED to bring the funny back.

I  made a pact to have copious amounts of belly laughs this year. Like rolling on the floor, tears pouring down my face, grasping my stomach, practically peeing my pants, stop-I-can’t-breathe kind of belly laughs.  There has been so much tension – physically, mentally….on a soul level. I needed a comic release. Having taken tons of improv classes over the years and even stand-up, I yearned for the weekly hilarity of the classes I used to take, the crazy, brilliant, quick minded individuals I used to improv with at Second City. In the pain, I forgot how to be funny. In the pain, it was hard to laugh. In the pain, it was tons of work trying to move away from the pain. With a broken and foggy brain from Gluten Ataxia and Hashimoto’s, thoughts were not firing the way they were supposed to if they were firing at all. If my legs and arms didn’t know where to go, neither did any glimmers of humour. My funny bone was seriously broken.

This year I have decided to bring on the goofy.  Bring back stupidity. Bring on the fun. Laugh until I cry. Text my friends ridiculous inside jokes. Have funny banter with strangers. Earlier this year, I took a drop-in improv class. After a few simple hilarious warm-up games, my brain was fried. The room was spinning. My body was protesting and was in a lot of pain. It was like a physiotherapy session with tons of hand to eye coordination needed with clapping and memory games. But glimmers of funny came out from hiding. “We’re still here! We’re still here!” I freakin’ loved it. My body and brain may have protested over the next couple of days but my soul determined we were completely on track.

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This was taken on International Ataxia Awareness Day, September 25, 2016, as I tried to leap in the air. It still makes me laugh. Not only was I thrilled to be jumping which has eluded me for years, to be goofy at the same time proves my mind, body, soul and funny bone are all hanging out in the same room again!

I decided on my birthday in May that I needed to bring in the upcoming year with humour. I believe in setting our intentions for the upcoming year on our birthdays. I took another drop-in improv class.  (And umm….I skipped my nieces’ school recital. Yes, I did. I r-e-a-l-l-y needed to get my humour order in….) Best. Idea. Ever. (Sorry nieces. Love you!) The room was still spinning and if you were to see me try to clap you would crack up.  I figured I could make my drunk-like ataxia actions into a fairly hilarious character. Work with watcha got…

I’ve done some more drop-ins and am taking a public speaking course at Second City. And it IS my physiotherapy. It IS rewiring my brain bringing back the funny. It is helping me tell painful aspects of my story with light and humour. It is recharging my spirit. And I have been laughing my ass off as my fellow classmates share their stories, their jokes, their humour, as we share our collective vulnerability whether we present something serious or light hearted. It is a joy trying out new ways of expressing myself outside the confines of my “PHD.”

I can now flash to several times over the last few months in which I have had deep belly laughs. How many times I have had tears pouring down my cheeks dying over something with a friend. Laughter really is the best medicine and a medicine that we need regularly. I aim to embarrass my nieces with my goofiness in public while teaching them that we must honour all aspects of our personalities.  There is a time for seriousness….but having been stuck in seriousness for several years, I really need to honour fun. Laughter. Goofiness. Our souls need it. My soul needs it.

 

 

 

The 7 Year Itch: My Ridiculously Long Road To Paddleboarding

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Today has pixie dust sprinkled all over it. It reeks of rainbows and unicorns. It is sunshine and cake. (Gluten-free of course because that gluten character is a big part of this 7 year itch…) As my friend Shelli always says, “Today is the BEST DAY EVER!” Today is MAGICAL – and yes, I mean to be YELLING! From the rooftops actually. Today, after waiting patiently – and not so patiently – since 2010, I finally – more yelling….FINALLY….got on a paddleboard!

As I head to the beach most days, in 2010, I started to notice paddleboarders on the lake. There were just a few back then as “SUPping” (stand up paddleboarding) was only starting to take off but I was determined to get on one the next summer and was really looking forward to it. By the summer of 2011 I felt lousy, had zero energy and was struggling just to stay awake. I went from working out 5 days a week preparing for my first 5K run to barely being able to get up the stairs. My body was in pain daily.  In September, 2011, I was diagnosed with autoimmune Hashimoto’s which explained why I felt so lousy.  I was determined to make a swift recovery….(insert rolling of eyes and I-know-better-now smirking….)

Over the next couple years, my arms morphed from excruciating daily pain to having very little use of them from the elbows down. My hands and arms working would be a guessing game depending on the day of the week. Everyday activities felt like they were being done with concrete boots on while walking through quicksand. All my energy was going into simply getting through everyday life – sports were impossible.  And being athletic, it was crushing my soul. In September, 2013, within a couple weeks, I could barely walk, talk, chew properly or think. I was stumbling around, could not put one foot in front of the other and was slurring my words. I looked and sounded drunk. I do not exaggerate when I say my brain and body felt decimated. I was terrified more than I let on to anyone. In December, 2013, I was finally diagnosed with Gluten Ataxia, a rare dis-ease in which gluten causes an autoimmune attack on the cerebellum, the part of the brain responsible for motor skills.

Since this all started, I have done everything in my power to make myself healthy. It has taken years to get back muscle strength, balance and coordination.  It has taken a long time to do physical motions without body parts severely cramping up or them simply not remembering what to do or going rogue as I like to call it.  It has also taken a long time to do several movements at the same time. I call it Body Jenga – how many moves can I do before my body stubbornly protests I have pushed too much and it all falls apart? Paddleboarding looks so easy and effortless, yet it’s really rather complicated when your sense of balance caused you to fall over for several years simply by standing still – on land. Last year I was looking into motorized scooter prices.

Every day at sunset when I would meditate at the beach, wishing I could be out on the water, the paddleboarders would glide by.  Some days they brought me comfort. Some days I was so angry and frustrated I wished I hadn’t seen them.  And other days my meditation would involve envisioning myself strong and sturdy out there at sunset casually gliding by alongside them. I finally sat in the energy that they were keeping me company until I was ready to join them.

This month, I finally realized I had enough balance, energy and coordination to get up on a board, hold the paddle and stroke on both sides.   I (hopefully) would be able to get back on if I fell off. I also hoped I could make it through an hour class. I could swim with enough strength to not drown which was an added bonus. You can imagine my excitement to get on a board… And then the weather decided to kick up some windy waves delaying this several times. As I repeated,”Patience is a virtue,” over and over in my mind…I wanted to smack patience with a paddleboard!

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Today at 9AM it was a go. I was a kid at Christmas – a Christmas that had been bumped several times! It was a stunningly beautiful day – a full moon lunar eclipse none the less. There were small waves but it’s September and the clock is ticking on how much more time there is on the lake before it gets really cold and a lot more windy. And you know what? I cannot even imagine a more perfect first experience.  I didn’t care if I stood for one second and then got dumped into the lake – hell, I didn’t care if I even stood up because I did not know if I would have the balance. I was happy to be on that board!

My instructor Gudrun of wsup Toronto was beyond lovely and helpful and guided our group on our Blu Wave Sup boards as we paddled into the sun (gorgeous) and then into a quiet, shallow inlet for us to try standing.  I landed in the lake several times – and loved it every single time. It actually gave my brain and body a break from all the movement and balancing.  I needed it! (Was also very thankful as I explore my new energy to be wearing a life jacket) But I also stood several times and got some strokes in before wiping out. I would have been happy to have stood for one second. Every wipe out was joy-filled!  7 years of waiting joy-filled. I love the shot of me paddling above looking like a badass catching a wave…in fact I was just about to wipe out which will forever make me laugh!

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I floated in the lake after staring at the clouds with a huge grin on my face. Then I sat on the beach warming myself in the sun…and started to cry.  From gratitude. From years of pent up frustration and a finish line that just kept stretching beyond my reach. From utter happiness. From relief. From pride. When I looked at these photos later, I cried again. When I spoke with my mom tonight and told her about my morning, I sobbed with gratitude. How could 7 years have gone by not being able to do something so soul rewarding?  I realize why today was so important. For 7 years this has been the carrot dangling in front of me that I really, really wanted…and was always yanked further out of reach. And today I grasped it.

I sat in deep reflection today.  I didn’t just paddleboard. Parts of me came back together. Today I really felt like me. And I can’t think of anything more amazing than truly feeling like who you really are.

 

 

The Body Love Series: How to Help the Positivity Resonate Mind, Body & Soul

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How to get from here to there. Sometimes it seems easy. Sometimes it doesn’t.  I often speak of something “resonating” with me. If it resonates, I support it, I buy it, I tell others about it, I BELIEVE in it.  It’s an easy sell because it feels right to me.

When it comes to developing body love, sometimes it is not as easy as it seems to get from here to there. Sometimes doubt creeps in, lack of belief in something being true creeps in. Believing in the beauty of your body or a body part doesn’t ring true.  The body love is not resonating so it’s hard to make changes. And I don’t mean physical changes – I mean changing those doubts in your cranium that keep you from celebrating your body exactly like it is like rocking a bikini, wearing shorts or confidently showing off your gorgeous arms without feeling the need to wear long sleeves. It’s all about creating a mind-body-soul connection that feels unified and true to bring about real change and happiness.

I recently discussed easy out-of-the-box ways to meditate and bring about body love every day with an incredible crowd at Curvy Expo. I’ve had several conversations with women about it since so I know the topic has struck a chord.  I gave the audience easy 1-2 sentence mantras to build up body love.  These are positive affirmations that can be said to quiet your mind throughout your day and send yourself some loving vibes. But here is the thing – we are all on different journeys with different starting points, different experiences that brought us to today. So what might be really basic for one woman to believe in her heart could be very difficult for another.  What really resonates as true for one, could feel totally awkward and wrong for another.

On my healing journey, I would often send certain body parts some TLC especially when they weren’t working properly. I’m human – some days it was really hard to believe my legs were strong when they could barely move to allow me to walk, were cramped and aching. I could say “my legs are strong” several times in my head while the rest of my body would be bellowing,’Not this month they aren’t!” I found ways to get over this disconnect….and you can too.

What if your body image issue is with your arms?  Or what if you arms aren’t moving or working how they used to and you are frustrated? What if they have changed in appearance in some way through an accident, dis-ease, aging, scarring, acne or something that bothers you? How do you tell your arms you love them and how do you truly grow to love them when you are at the stage where all you want to do is cover them up?  In order to have a belief resonate throughout your being, you need to feel it mind, body and soul.

Here is a simple way to grow that belief in the core of your being. I am using arms in the example – feel free to replace with whichever body part of yours needs some TLC. Check out these stages to see what types of mantras resonates with you.

Total Arm Love

You find it easy to compliment your arms, deeply feel that words like “strong” and “beautiful” are true and they resonate with you. If you were to think of the praise as compliments from someone, you would accept them with a big grin on your face – it would make your day and you would walk around all sassy after.  These types of statements not only make you feel comfortable, they make you happy and energetically peaceful.

My arms are strong and beautiful.

My arms are curvy and beautiful.

My muscular arms are amazing. I appreciate what they do for me.

My arms are sexy and strong.

My stunning arms give me gifts every day.

If these have resonated with you, fantastic!  Use them throughout the day or create new ones you love. If the above mantras aren’t resonating with you, if you can’t “take the compliments” you’ll feel it – in your gut, in your heart, in the doubt in your head. And that’s ok.  We just need to tweak the body love TLC a little bit for you!

Working Up To Total Arm Love

It’s sometimes easier to see what gifts your body & its parts provide outside of you.  Thinking of your everyday life, how much joy, love and resourcefulness do they bring to you daily? What functions – even bare bones basic – do they provide for you every day?  How do they help you do your job and thus make a living?  Interact with your family and friends?  Pursue hobbies you  love?  Start celebrating everyday “little” actions to see how many amazing gifts you receive on a daily basis.

My arms are strong. They allow me to hold my beautiful baby.

My arms are amazing. They let me hug my beautiful children.

My arms are powerful. They allow me to work at a job I love.

My arms hold love. They let me hug my partner.

My arms create healing. They allow me to make healthy meals for my family.

My arms bring me gifts of movement every day. I am blessed.

My arms allow me to do my job and provide for my family.

My arms hold knowledge. They help me cook/paint/sew/knit/play the piano.

My arms create fun and laughter. They allow me to push my child on a swing.

I promise you, if you can tweak your way of thinking, you can tweak your way of believing allowing yourself to appreciate the powerful, beautiful gifts your body brings you daily.  If you start thinking of all the gifts you receive daily, all the tasks you are able to do, your perception will change. And this doesn’t have to take long. This could literally change your life in less than30 seconds a day!

Please let me know if you create a body love mantra for yourself. Would love to hear about it!

 

The Body Love Series: Monday Mantra

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I spent the weekend writing and recording meditations that I am looking forward to releasing and sharing with you all this year. The more I wrote, and the more I listened to my recordings, the more I felt the need to KISS – keep it so simple. I tried to speak slower using less words, in a calmly energetic, soothing voice, trying to keep in mind what makes me relax. After several recordings of a particular track, once I listened to it and really felt myself sink into the meditation, I knew I was onto something.  So I guess you could say I was doing a meditation within a mediation?  (Ask me about this theory after about 1000 attempts at recording!)

I started to write down some simple mantras that I have shared before.  These really helped me reconnect my mind-body-soul connection when none of them felt like they were hanging out in the same room due to massive levels of pain and having limited abilities from Hashimoto’s and Gluten Ataxia. When I was frustrated and my mushy mind was all over the place, when I was exhausted and my body wasn’t working, I told myself to keep it simple. And I would repeat the same phrases – or mantras – over and over willing my mind, body and soul to come together and hang out again. And the more I would repeat them, the more the energy of these positive words would resonate with me throughout my entire system. I felt better after. I literally could feel the positivity oozing into my cells. My cells were believing these words. My fractured brain was believing these words. My heart was believing these words.

Send yourself some body love with simple mantras – or if you can’t wrap your head around that word, tell yourself you are going to create one or two simple sentences that will be your positivity-go-tos that will help create a positive shift in your life. Close your eyes and listen to this simple mantra for a great example. Repeat it in your mind a few times in the shower in the morning. Close your eyes on the subway on your way to work and say it in your head. When you look at yourself in the mirror, say it out loud. Feel it resonate throughout you. Feel your body accept it.  And just KISS – keep it so simple. Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated.  We survive on hugs – think of this as giving your body and soul regular hugs.

Looking forward to creating many mantras, meditations & guided manifestations to share with you all.  I know they have helped me and I know they can help you. Body love starts with us loving ourselves and magnifying that love to bring others in.  Just KISS and be kind to yourself.

The Body Love Series: Dancing It Out In Meditation

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I meditate every day. It feeds my body and it feeds my soul. Sometimes it’s only for 5 minutes but other times like today, I start my day with half an hour or more.  And some days I stop, drop and meditate a couple times. Depends what I feel guided to do.

Yesterday I started my Sunday with a really deep meditation.  I do visualizations to help heal my body and send it energy and this one went r-e-a-l-l-y deep. I have been feeling really run down for the last 2 weeks after catching a bug while travelling and pushing myself too hard. I find travelling with time changes with autoimmunity and the stress of trying to find places to eat gluten-free tends to wear me out way more than the average person. I should not have kept bragging that I haven’t had a cold in 6 years….

I envisioned energy seeping into my cells and my body filling with bright sunlight. I infused swirling beautiful colours into my body and brain.  I went to town on the healing and after about 45 minutes, felt more energized and alive.  I wanted to go for a walk which was a great sign that I had upped my energy.

I sat at the beach and had a great chat with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while on my cell phone. I told him I wanted to take him to the beach with me as I watched the sunshine hit the waves. After our chat, I sat in the sun for quite some time feeling the vitamin D seep into my skin. Even though my body’s energy was still low, I felt it increasing with everything I was doing. I closed my eyes and put on some more relaxing meditation music…and then… had to switch it up!

I needed to dance. Meditation dance that is. I flipped on some 90s music. Perfection.

And just as my calm morning meditation helped heal me, closing my eyes and meditatively dancing it out while seated healed and energized me as well. After years of limited movement from Gluten Ataxia and Hashimoto’s,  it’s necessary for me to unify the mind-body-soul connection. When my soul wants to dance and my body doesn’t have the energy, I need to find a way.  I honour my body when it needs calm and I honour my body when it needs energetic movement. I hit my 90s Mix on my iPod and started to bob and sway with my eyes closed while feeling the sun shining down on me. I didn’t really care who was watching – I was too busy dancing it out in my mind, throughout my body. My movements weren’t too crazy but I am sure I amused everyone walking by.

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Here are some of my 90s meditative-perk-me-up-dance-like-nobody’s-watching songs:

#1 It Takes Two – Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock

#2 Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) – CC Music Factory

#3 Jump Around – House of Pain

#4 I Like to Move It – Reel 2 Real

#5 Bust a Move – Stone Cold Rhymin’

I believe what we can visualize we can make real. I believe what we feel in our bodies, in our cells, we can make real. Our bodies need to feel the love in various ways and I can’t think of a better way to celebrate one’s body than through dancing. I danced my ass off on the beach yesterday. It felt great. I was smiling the entire time. And after all my dancing (about 10 songs worth) I had more energy to walk home. I stood taller and my legs felt sturdy. My legs didn’t buckle like they often do. They didn’t go all ataxia wobbly. I walked home energized with a strong body.

So who says your meditations have to have rules?  That you have to sit in silence for hours on end with no thoughts entering your mind?  If the word “meditation” feels overwhelming, don’t use it! Take 5 minutes out of your busy day, throw on your iPod and dance. Smile. Feel energized. Feel connected to all your body parts. Feel your mind-body-soul connection.  Just dance.

The Body Love Series: What Do You Want to Be When You’re Older?

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What do you want to be when you’re older?

A jockey.

You can’t. You’re too big.

What do you want to be when you’re older?

A ballerina.

You can’t. You’d be taller than all your male partners.

What do you want to be when you’re older?

I don’t know.

I flashed back to my childhood career aspirations the other day. I seemed to want to pursue professions that came with society-created body parameters. It occurred to me…how many times did we, as children, put ideas out there only to be told NO based on our size, our shape? Interestingly enough, my career found me when a model scout stopped me in a mall and asked me if I wanted to be a plus-size model – a career based on my size and height. I have spent my career celebrating that size and height and in turn work to break down barriers in fashion to embrace people of all sizes, shapes, backgrounds and abilities.

In wanting to be a jockey, I realize at almost six feet tall that my frame would considerably slow down a horse in a race. Fair enough. Probably would not come in first place. Ok, probably would come in last. But what if society didn’t tell me no?  What if I had pushed ahead based on all the aspects of this potential career I loved…where would I be?  I wanted to be around horses, I wanted to ride fast, I wanted to feel the wind whipping in my face. What if there was another outlet to achieve all of this without a flat out NO? How many doors were closed based on one aspect of a future possibility?

And maybe I never wanted a male dance partner.  Maybe that thought never occurred to me. Maybe I could have been the tall solo ballet dancer. Maybe my ballet dreams would have morphed into other forms of dance, other forms of artistic expression. What future events and experiences were closed off based on the one-track assumptions of a certain ballet teacher whose word I took as concrete truth?

Children are bombarded by info daily. Let’s always remember to explore their dreams with them – all aspects of them.  And let’s always aim to fling as many doors open as possible when the rest of the world is trying to slam them shut. Our bodies are capable of many things – at all sizes, shapes, heights and abilities. Let’s not put ceilings above those bodies where children don’t see them existing.

The Body Love Series: A Real Woman is Every Woman

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I have heard the term “real woman” for years.  As in, this woman is real, that woman is not. Who, exactly gets to decide this?

I have worked with many plus and straight size models for many years and we’d see each other regularly sometimes even weekly depending on our bookings and a lot of them were (and still are) sizes 2-4. They were healthy, happy, smart, incredible women.  We didn’t see size – we were all there to share fashion inspiration and do our job. I admired the models of various ages and sizes I got to work with over the years.

You can imagine my frustration when reporters would label me a “real woman” and ask me questions about the other models I worked with implying their smaller size made them less real than me. I remember one line of questioning in which the reporter asked if I wanted to see every runway showcasing real women like me – all a size 14. I can’t remember my exact quote but my answer went something like this:  “The women in my life – my friends, my family, are all different shapes and sizes. I want to see all shapes and sizes in fashion because that reflects what I see and know around me.  Putting all size 14s on the runway would be just as wrong as putting all size 0s on one, it doesn’t reflect reality. All my friends aren’t the same size as me.” I also remember the reporter really didn’t like my answer! Implying my smaller counterparts – women I greatly liked and admired – were not real drove me crazy. I have skinny family members, I have curvy family members and everything in between. I have friends that are a size 0 and friends that are a 24 and every size in between. When they see models that look like them in all shapes and sizes – and yes, there needs to be way more of this, THAT is real. Diversity is real. Seeing someone like them allows them to know how a garment will fit on their frame.

Lately there have been ahhmazing leaps & bounds made in fashion.  Campaigns are including a lot more diversity and more sizes and ages are being represented. Fashion bloggers of all shapes and sizes have pushed the industry with their creative images and fashion style. I recently spoke with a first year fashion class at Ryerson University and told them there have been more changes in plus-size fashion in the last 2 years than there have been in the last 20.   But the flip side of this positive wave of curvy acceptance, is the use of that dreaded “real woman” saying in all forms of media.  As in:

Finally, a real woman on the cover!

We are finally seeing real women in this magazine!

Thanks for putting a real woman in this campaign.

Real women only from now on please!

Does fashion still need to change? Absolutely.  There are still way too many models in one size range representing a lot of women who do not look like them.  But putting them down in order to celebrate another body type is not the answer. Including a variety of ages, sizes, backgrounds and abilities is the answer.  Getting designers and companies to create several sample sizes so various sized models can be used will help immensely. Fashion schools that are changing the way students think about and create fashion will make them the leaders of tomorrow that will create the diverse media we need to be seeing more of. Applauding companies for making change with social media comments, letters to the editor or sending in an email or letter makes change. I have seen it happen.

a-real-woman-is-every-woman-liis-windischmann

A real woman is every woman. Skinny?  She’s real. Curvy? She’s real? Slim? Real. Fat? Real. Tall. Short. Somewhere in between. Real. Whatever weight, whatever size, whatever age. Still real. Let’s keep pushing for change knowing we’re all real and we’re all beautiful.

The Body Love Series: Ode to a Sock

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What the hell does a sock have to do with body love you are probably wondering… For me, a lot. I am often asked how I have such positive body image. It really comes down to being so damn amazed at being able to do little actions every day. Little actions as magical as putting on my socks.

If you would have told me several years ago I would be celebrating the actions of my feet I would have thought that was crazy.  But I also would have never foreseen myself trying to do something as simple as putting on a sock, and face planting flat onto my bedroom floor nearly missing my dresser. Yes, trying to put on a sock was enough to cause me to completely fall over. I am still shocked I didn’t break my nose or a hand – or my dresser! Once I got wiser to the pitfalls of Gluten Ataxia, I would sit to try to put on my socks (and pants and tops and bras and shoes), an action that would take less than 30 seconds normally and it would sometimes take up to 10 minutes. Some days I would just go sockless out of frustration.

I am still mastering pointing my toes again. This week I can’t feel half of my left foot. This changes frequently. It used to be half of my leg and almost my entire foot so this is progress. If I walk more than 20 minutes, I usually can’t feel the front half of both feet. Then my walk becomes a really sexy stomping kinda thing. I haven’t worn high heels since 2014 and then I was cheating them on TV for 5 minutes and got help walking onto the set or put them on once seated.

I had a long luxurious bath recently and stared at my toes peeking out of the bubbles for quite some time. I guess you are at the ultimate level of body love when you can stare at your feet in wonder!  Being able to stand and walk and move is everything to me – my size isn’t. Being able to feel my feet enough to walk is more important to me than my weight. There is so much joy in being able to point a toe again! And being able to put on a simple pair of socks is the ultimate gift – in pride, independence and accomplishment. For me, body love literally starts from the tips of my toes up to the top of my head. And every morning, after my meditation, as I am getting dressed for the day, I am grateful for the simple action of putting on my socks.