A Simple Two Word Mantra: It’s Easy

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As I sat quietly this morning feeling (not thinking) how I wanted to start my day, I closed my eyes to sit in meditative silence. Sometimes I simply breathe mindfully allowing my brain and body to quiet down. I may listen to nature sounds or ocean waves and be lulled by their beautiful flow. Other days I find myself having a conversation with the universe or like today, a simple mantra came into my mind. I went with the mantra.

As I am getting close to releasing my first meditation album Falling Into Zen – 10 Guided Meditations Under 10 Minutes (info about its availabilty will be on my website soon) I have had many conversations with people that yes, calming & empowering oneself with a healthy mind, body and soul connection can take mere minutes daily. Perhaps this is why my mantra popped up. When a thought like this calmly enters my mind, I don’t try to push is away. I realize it is surfacing as a gift and quietly explore the information it is trying to share with me.

This morning these words popped into my mind: It’s easy.

So I went with it…

It’s easy to be happy.

It’s easy to be healthy.

It’s easy to have a life I love.

It’s easy to be surrounded by love. 

It’s easy to be filled with joy.

It’s easy to laugh a lot. 

It’s easy to travel the world.

It’s easy to be filled with creative ideas. 

It’s easy to have an incredible career I love.

It’s easy to attract fantastic people, companies and projects.

It’s easy to make lots of money.

It’s easy to make lots of money so I can help others. 

It’s easy to create positive change on this planet. 

It’s easy. Whatever I think, I can do. It’s easy. Whatever I think, I can create. It’s easy.

I am sure there were a few more in there but you get the idea. One “it’s easy” flowed easily into another…and then another… When we change our minds, we change our world. When we change our world, we can then change the world. Small steps can create big changes and what could be simpler than taking a couple minutes to explore the power of two small words?

The Unexpected Body Image Teacher

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The last few years have been an epic body love roller coaster ride. Want to possess the most positive body image ever imaginable? Have your body completely fall apart a million times, a million different ways. Scars, weight, stretch marks, size …none of it will matter when your abilities come back, when your legs let you walk, when your mouth lets you speak, when your arms can hold someone you love dearly, when you have the mental strength to be fully present.

Every one of my working and non working body parts has taught me about total love, acceptance and patience. But there is one small body part that I never imagined would be such a great body image teacher, would inspire so many conversations with my nieces about body love – my thumbnails.

My fingers have been some of the last parts of my body to come back to health. They have gone through many painful phases and as they have changed, they have allowed me to realize inside my body has been healing and getting back on track. They have been a mirror as to what was happening with my brain and immune system. The last holdout has been my thumbnails. They have looked mangled for quite some time. At first I would constantly try to keep nail polish on them to cover up their imperfections. But for the last year, I decided to stop doing this and instead embrace their raw beauty. I enjoy looking down at my unpainted nails daily to see the improvements. They are a symbol of my body’s perseverance.

I’ve held hands with my nieces countless times and conversations have started about my rough, misshapen thumbnails. It has given me the opportunity to tell them about how strong our bodies are, how honoured I am to walk and move and share valuable time with them and how my uniqely different nails are a part of me I am not ashamed of. I’ve shared with them how people have scars of honour on their bodies for the experiences they have gone through and we need to celebrate these badges of beauty. I’ve explained to them how smart my body has been in that it realized the rest of my body needed all the love and attention it could get to recover from autoimmune Hashimoto’s and Gluten Ataxia so it had to stop sending some energy to my nails temporarily because other parts needed it more. My mangled thumbnails represent that my body isn’t broken, it is smart.

Many of our conversations have been silent, with my nieces gently touching my nails, inspecting them in the sweet, honest way children do, knowing every time they check, they are improving and getting healthier, an unspoken realization that so am I. Most importantly, my hands with my imperfectly perfect thumbnails can type again, can write again, can pick up my nieces again and twirl them around and be goofy. How honoured I am to have been bestowed these marks of imperfection that possess the power to start such important conversations.

Happiness Dwells In The “Little” Moments

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Last week was quite delicious. And gratifying. And exciting. And rewarding.

I did not win a mega jackpot lottery or get a new car or home or land a huge contract. What I did get were the oh-so-sweet rewards for years of patience, dedication and determination. I got pieces of my life back.

Every Monday night as far back as I can remember is Pilates night. It took me years to master the moves, strength and agility needed in class. In 2011, I still had moves to master but I was so happy with how I had developed over the years. Then I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s in 2011 and Gluten Ataxia in 2013. I lost all strength, dexterity and my brain and body literally forgot how to do anything and my brain was not sending the proper messaging to my limbs. My legs would plummet to the floor, my arms did not work and were in severe pain, my body would tremor in protest and the simplest moves became utterly exhausting. I would silently cry throughout every class either from complete system overwhelm, sheer frustation or both. And I would leave walking like I was drunk having just got off a roller coaster. Over the years, Pilates grew to become an integral part of my physiotherapy as it was one of the only forms of physical movement I could participate in.

On February 1, 2016, in a Pilates class, I got a push-up back after years of trying.  It was one of the sweetest moments of my life. I did feel like I had won the lottery. This Monday I got another “simple” move back – after 7 years of sheer dedication! My teacher laughed out loud in celebration as did I. Sweet victory! I still have to adapt a lot of moves and hold my legs up with a band but I am grinning. I am thrilled. I am so beyond grateful it is ridiculous. I never thought I would get back to this level of strength.

The next day I did a photo shoot – in high heels. Something that again, I used to do regularly as a model which left my life when I developed severe balance and dizziness issues and an adverse reaction (not being able to walk or talk)  to gluten in make-up and beauty products. I used my own gluten-free make-up kit for this one and rocked those heels!

And to close a week of ridiculously sweet accomplishments, I did a fashion runway show on Saturday. In high heels. Under bright lights with loud pumping music. I flashed back to the last runway I was able to walk in 2012, in which I was in a complete panic as I walked out in severe pain to a massive crowd at Toronto Fashion Week and felt the room swirling around me, my feet and legs feeling like they would give out, the music and lights actually hurting and splitting into a million moving parts attacking my senses, knowing that something was severely wrong. I flashed back to having so much trouble simply doing up a button, a zipper, changing my own clothes, putting on shoes. I’ve done a plethora of runway shows over 25 years and I don’t think one can be sweeter than the last. What a gift.

A simple exercise move. Standing in high heels. Walking in a show. We don’t realize what lights us up until it’s taken away. We don’t realize how many pieces of our identity make us who we are until they vanish from our lives. We don’t realize the gift of movement and how it helps define us and the confidence and joy it gives us until it disappears. And we don’t realize how many gifts are given to us regularly in seemingly insignifcant moments. Life is delicous, every moment, every day in so many ways.