It is Time to Reclaim My 5K!

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In 2011, I was rocking my workouts. I was on fire. I had just segued from twice weekly boot camp sessions to almost daily gym visits. I was really proud of myself for being the only woman in the history of the boot camp sessions to not participate in the monthly measurements and weigh-ins. For me, it was about feeling powerful, athletic. Killing my workouts was my goal. Altering my size was never my focus. I was on a mission to feel great and get moving. I still chuckle flashing back to having my hips measured for a modelling client who needed to fit a particular pair of pants on me. My hip measurement actually increased because my behind got so muscular – and curvy –  from all the glute work I had done and was now sitting higher. Nice. I was amused.

I grew to love jogging. Always athletic growing up, I loved various workouts over the years, adored sprints and day long bike rides, yet had dreaded jogging.  I do not exaggerate when I say I loathed it. But I kept hearing about this elusive runners’ high and decided to keep pushing through the dread to see if I could find it. And one day I did. And I was hooked. And jogging became thrilling and fun.

Although I excelled in running in my younger years, this didn’t seem to translate to jogging talent in 2011.  It would be quite accurate to say I started off jogging a 14 minute mile versus a 4 minute one…. Didn’t matter to me. I would challenge myself every gym visit to shave a few seconds off my time.  5 seconds? Amazing. 30? Happy dance + fist pumps and most likely some high fiving of complete strangers. What started off as initially struggling and gasping to make it through 5 minutes became a decent speed over 3 kms with me plotting how to keep improving my form, pace, distance and time. I melodically got lost in my own world and enjoyed every minute of it.

The only person I was competing with was me and my personal bests.

In the winter, I started scoping out 5K events for the fall. I started planning how to segue my indoor jogging to outdoor terrain once the weather got a little warmer. I was still mastering the flat surface of a treadmill – uneven surfaces, uphill terrain and bumpy, slushy snow would have to wait until further along in my “training.” The girl who couldn’t stand jogging was now plotting her first long distance race! I even fried the treadmill one day while doing an all out sprint.  I was secretly smirking when I saw the repair sign on it the next day.  Although I felt badly for putting a much needed machine out of commission, it put an extra spring in my step and was confirmation my race was going to happen.

But…

I didn’t see the signs that my health was going off course in early 2011. In fact, I hadn’t seen the steady stream of warnings that were being presented over the previous years either.  In the spring, I started to feel sluggish and breathless during my jogs and one day experienced vertigo. Let’s just say vertigo + jogging + a treadmill does not a good match make. I shook it off and went home. We do that – shake warnings off. We shouldn’t.

Then one day IT happened.

I didn’t realize on that day that my life was about to completely change.

I was about 5 minutes into my jog when my body shut down and the world started to move in slow motion. I literally just stopped jogging and flew off the end of the treadmill into the wall. All my limbs just ceased to know what to do. I made a fairly graceful recovery amidst the smirks around me.  I walked right out of the gym heading home in a haze. I tried to reason with myself that maybe I didn’t eat enough protein that day…

The 5 minute walk home took over an hour. I collapsed on a curb unable to move. I willed someone to walk by. Nobody was on the street. Not one car passed. I sat there motionless in the pelting rain waiting to regain my energy.  I could not move an inch.  Walking the last 200 or so metres seemed like forever. I made it into my kitchen on my hands and knees and crawled up the stairs.

I’ll be fine.

Maybe I should work out in the afternoons instead?

I’ll go to the doctor soon.

It’s amazing what you reason with yourself in the moment. When you body is screaming out for help, has given you a million and one signs and you still aren’t cluing in.  In that moment, I did not realize…

That all plans to do my 5K race just fell off that treadmill.

That parts of me just fell off that treadmill.

That my abilities up until that day were more amazing than I even knew.

What I thought would be a quick recovery turned into an over 4 year soul journey as my health took me to levels of pain and frustration and depths of understanding and appreciation I didn’t know possible. I bartered with my body and brain daily for snippets of movement and activity. Some days my bartering worked and many it didn’t. Through the roller coaster ride of  having abilities, losing them, regaining them repeatedly over days, months and years, I would often wonder, “If I can’t even walk properly, will I ever be able to jog again?” More than anything these last few years, my health journey with Hashimoto’s, endometriosis and gluten ataxia has instilled in me a sense of body love and admiration that is off the charts – no matter what ability level my body is at. As long as my brain works, I can accomplish anything in this world.

There are many times over the last few years that I have thought of my 5K and thought it unattainable, thought I would never get my health back to even think about doing it. It was a carrot dangling in front of me I was never able to reach. And last month it hit me. I am going to do it. I may not do it the way I set out to do in 2011…

But I’m going to do it a new way.

Who says I have to jog?  Who says I even have to do it all at once?  Who says I have to keep waiting for a future day that may keep stretching into forever? I have decided to reinvent my race, make it what I can do, make it something attainable and not something always in the future. Make it fun. Pat myself on the back. Celebrate what I can do today – not a year or five down the road.

Do it now.

Reclaim My 5K - Liis Windischmann

You know the term ‘back in the saddle?’ Well, back on the treadmill! And this time I refuse to fly into a wall.  I am not sure when I will be able to walk 5K let alone jog it.  But I am quite certain I can rock walking 1K…5 times!  I have yet to walk 1K since 2011….but I have been working up to it…and I have faith. It’s been really cold outside but words can’t express how joy-filled my daily walking has been.  I need to do this for me. I need to prove to myself that I can reinvent my starting line, reinvent my race.

I NEED TO RECLAIM MY 5K!

I plan to walk 1K per day – on a treadmill – over five days starting Monday March 9th through to Friday March 13th. I am honoured that body positive GoodLife Fitness  has agreed to sponsor my race!  With a mantra of Training for Every Body, this is my kind of gym.  Also supporting me on my race is Katie K Active and Reitmans.  Love both these companies for creating athletic clothing from straight sizing through to plus sizes because everybody and every body deserves to feel great while reaching their fitness goals.

I hope you will join me this week on my race.  There have been so many times I thought I would need a wheelchair or walker for my gluten ataxia, planned my days out in the steps needed to get from point A to B. A couple months ago as I was starting physiotherapy, I didn’t think walking 1K would be remotely possible.  But I keep inching closer to goals and I am honoured where my legs take me, honoured for where my brain is allowing my limbs to go.  I need to do this for me. But I also want to do this for all the amazing individuals whom I have met or encountered who have had a health event stop them dead in their tracks too…have made them feel like a their goals were now out of reach.  We all need to know we can recreate our race, whatever that race may be.

And one last note…when I first decided to do this, I had no idea this project would fall into Brain Awareness Week. What amazing timing and beautiful energy during my race…

Let’s do this!

Please join me on the race route on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter!

#ReclaimMy5K   #rockyourbody

 

Welcome to a New Liis on Life!

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Thank you so much for visiting Liis on Life! I am so happy to share this space with you and am looking forward to connecting often. Yes, this website is a play on my name… but it really does reflect a new energy for me, a new direction, a new purpose in life. If we are meeting here for the first time then a big hello to you!  And if some of you know me through my over 20 years in the fashion industry, I am happy to connect with you again.

Sometimes you blissfully walk through life thinking your future is going in one direction then all of a sudden a giant hand swoops down and declares, “Change of course! You are now going this way!” You find yourself on a completely different path, one you never envisioned or chose.  You protest, you reflect, you rage, and then a moment of calm clarity comes about and you realize the universe chose your experiences for a reason, that you attracted in your experiences for a reason – or a million – a million really, really important ones.  And you realize all your experiences are meant to be shared in order to help someone else in the exact same spot you were just in.

Looking back I was physically falling apart for years – but always with a smile on my face, always while keeping busy and moving onto the next project in my life. (Sound familiar anyone?) There were warning signs that my body was crying out for help. There was a growing disconnect with my mind, body & soul – they weren’t having the same conversation. The universe kept bellowing:

Hey Liis!

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

HOW ABOUT RIGHT NOW?!

It wasn’t until I completely fell apart and started putting back the pieces that I realized all this, until I heard the universe LOUD and CLEAR. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune thyroid dis-ease in 2011, endometriosis in 2012 and the clincher, the rare dis-ease cerebellar gluten ataxia in 2013. My list of symptoms was enormous and the daily pain was off the charts.  Were there good times in there? Absolutely. Some great times in fact. Some travelling and some nights of dancing even. Some amazing career projects. But to say I have done a lot of soul searching, health homework and deep reflection would be an understatement. I feel as if I just completed a university degree I didn’t realize I had signed up for!

I like to call the last few years my “spiritual time-out.”  In all the pain and all the frustration, there were so many lessons, so much knowledge gained, so many moments of amazement and wonder. To the general public who have seen me on numerous TV appearances and in fashion campaigns, it may not have seemed like anything was wrong but every event – even if only one or two hours – required meticulous planning and then recuperation. From first adopting a gluten free life in 2011 to embracing a Paleo lifestyle in late 2013, I have grown to realize the healing energy of food, meditation and positive thinking and the power we have to change the course of our dis-ease, our happiness, our lives.

As I sat in my time-out chair, I did reflect on a lot, and came to new levels of understanding on so many platforms.  After labour, mothers will always say of course they would go through it all again in order to have their children. Although not a mother, I can relate to that sentiment – I have come out the other side with a new lease on life I wouldn’t trade for anything in this world.  There is no going back to “before.” I have wept so many tears of gratitude and sit in such gratefulness every day.  My friends now lovingly say, ”Aww Liis, are you crying from happiness again?”

I have created this space and welcome you here to learn, to grow, to laugh, to embrace your inner child and hug the hell out of her. To reach out to your future self and proactively take care of her right now, this very instant – and let her know how amazing she is. To love yourself today, just the way you are in all your amazing perfection. To live in joy daily. To shake up your routine. To ask questions. To not only think outside the box but live like it never existed. To cry tears of total joy. To surprise and amaze yourself. To do your health homework because it is really, really good for your mind, body and soul!

Let’s lose the obsession with what size is on the label of our jeans and daily weigh-ins and always calorie counting shall we? My shape and size has changed dramatically through all this and it is but one  small part of my story. My curvy body allowed me to travel the world with a career I loved, connecting with incredible people around the world. I honour my body throughout time, whatever shape or size. Weight and size is such a small part of who all of us really are.  This site is about body love for everybody and every BODY.

If I can help others from going through the same health issues and rude awakening I did, I sure want to try.  As this site grows, and as I continue to grow, I hope you will join me. I am so looking forward to it!

 

Let’s Change the Body Conversation

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Want to get really in tune with the gloriousness that is your body?  Have it fall apart completely. Wake up one day and your legs work. Wake up another and they don’t. Same with your brain. Especially your brain. Have abilities. Lose abilities. Have abilities. Lose abilities. Have abilities. (Wanted to end that on an upswing!) Those able-bodied days become the biggest gifts from the universe. On a good day you could throw me in the most ridiculous, embarrassing outfit with dirty hair, no make-up and I would be raring to go anywhere in the world. Meet a celebrity. Sure. Run into an ex-boyfriend? Bring it on. Run…just run? Yes please! I could  care less about having the perfect appearance or the “perfect” body.  A perfect body to me is a healthy, happy body.

I do not exaggerate when I say that I now look at my legs with complete awe and wonder. They are beautiful and serve so many functions. One foot in front of the other without stumbling or tripping or swaying? You rock legs. You rock. I place my hands regularly on my belly and send it love – it is the core of my immune system running the entire show – it needs the love! You don’t ache every day anymore? You gorgeous, gorgeous untoned belly. Hips? They are gaining power. Their size? Don’t care. Are they helping me move? Excellent. The more function I get back in my arms, the more I celebrate. They have lost lots of muscle tone and I embrace the flabbiness of them. Flabby is fine. Flabby is beautiful. They are a work in progress. They move. They lift. They carry. They are amazing.

In this body journey, I have been constantly bombarded by media messages which pick apart women’s parts, a world in which no size or shape ever seems to be right and one’s body always seems to be elusively chasing a time when it will achieve perfection. Summer body. Bikini body. Before and after body. How about healthy body?  How about 365 days of the year awesome body? I want to bellow for the world to hear: None of this negative body talk matters!  And you know what? It really, really doesn’t.

LiisOnLife_BodyBeautiful

So let’s continue to change the body conversation. Let’s love ourselves today – not tomorrow or next week or next year. If you have made health and fitness changes, if you’ve lost weight, let’s not disrespect the beautiful body that carried you to today, that is a vital and wonderful part of your life journey. If you’ve gained weight, honour and truly love your present self and future self and not look constantly to your “before” self. Same amazing body your entire life – just a different form. Different forms of totally amazeballs you. Most importantly, let’s change the body conversation for the next generation. Let’s enable little girls to grow up knowing their bodies rock, that their body parts and quirks and differences are beautiful, that diversity is amazing…let them emulate our Body Rock philosophy knowing it is the norm and not the exception. Let’s have them grow up thinking having a “summer body” or “bikini body” are the most ridiculous phrases they’ve ever heard.

Please share this graphic and help change the conversation. #rockyourbody

Celebrate Your Accomplishments Today

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I used to do boot camp. I used to do full-out sprints on the treadmill. I used to do 3-5 sessions at the gym each week for the sheer thrill of feeling great. Of sweating. Of knowing I just shaved 5 seconds off my really bad one mile time. I was aiming for my first 5km run and I was excited. Didn’t care how much I weighed, what a scale said, what my dress tag said. How did I feel? Great.

I flew off the treadmill a few minutes into my routine jog in spring 2011. Right into the wall. I didn’t know then that would be the last time my body would be able to go to the gym. Found out I had Hashimoto’s, then endometriosis then last year gluten ataxia. My heart wanted to run but my body kept saying not yet, not yet.

If you would have told me back then that an exercise ball would take me down in physiotherapy years later, I would have said you are crazy. Not me the girl who fried the gym’s only treadmill by doing sprints. The girl who could do lunges and crunches for days. The girl who went to track school because it was fun to run up all the stairs in a stadium. Not me.

LiisOnLife

It has taken me many months to be able to sit on a fitness ball. Just sit on it. Then bounce. Then bounce and try to catch a ball. And I bawled my eyes out today while trying to do so. System overload. And I am so ok with that. Proud to cry because it means I am pushing through to another level.

I have reinvented my gym. Set new expectations. It may not be a stadium of stairs, may not be an hour jog, may not be a killer boot camp class. But every physio session, even if it is simply mastering sitting on a fitness ball, is a giant leap (or bounce) forward.

Celebrate your accomplishments today. Don’t beat yourself up about what you were able to do yesterday. Today you started. Today you made a difference in your current situation. Today you did amazing things. Today you created change no matter how small. And tomorrow you can look back and smile. You’ve got this…today. #rockyourbody

Disease vs. Dis-ease – What’s the difference?

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Throughout my site and in my lectures and appearances you will often see and hear me using the word “dis-ease” instead of “disease.”  You may have heard others in the holistic health community tweaking the word and sneaking that hyphen in there too.  There is a very good reason.

Here are two definitions to help explain the difference:

Merriam Webster Dictionary – disease – an illness that affects a person, animal, or plant , a condition that prevents the body or mind from working normally, a problem that a person, group, organization, or society has and cannot stop

About.com – dis-ease –  A hyphenated variation of the word “disease.” The term dis-ease is used by individuals and healing communities who are aligned with wellness, choosing not to empower health issues by focusing on a particular ailment. The intent is to place emphasis on the natural state of “ease” being imbalanced or disrupted.

I believe our thoughts and words carry power – lots of it. How we think shapes how we act and feel. How we speak defines our personal world and thus the larger world.  I believe everything no matter what state, can be tweaked and improved. Did you see what I underlined above – “and cannot stop” – do you really want to believe you can’t get healthier, stronger, more vibrant? I sure don’t!

Take a moment to think about the word “disease” – what comes to mind? What images appear in your head?  Bet they are pretty negative and maybe pretty gross. For me the words fester and decay come to mind. Now think about “dis-ease.” How are your feelings different?  In my mind, I envision something out of order with the ability to get back in order, back to a state of ease. The process seems easier, more manageable….and no gross images come to mind.  It is a far more gentle way of thinking, one that seems less harsh to my body and mind. “Ease” is a positive word and I want this energy as part of my healthcare journey.

That little hyphen seems pretty powerful now doesn’t it?

Change your mind.  Change your words. Change your world. Change the world.