How I Danced Around the World on My Birthday

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I have a birthday tradition I do every year on my special day: I throw down a mega long meditation-convo-thank-you-bonanza to the universe.  I say my “gratefuls” as I like to call them.  I put in my shopping order to the universe along the lines of,”Hey….do you think you could hook this up for me?” I have a good long chat with my peeps on the other side with no words used.  But his year I felt the urge to shake things up.

This year I decided to do one thing.

This year I decided to dance around the world.

Just dance.

There have been a few times over the last few years that I have had energy to dance, and when I did, I danced like a  mad woman.  Sometimes all I was capable of was a slight sway.  Sometimes all I could do was imagine it in my mind (and I danced like a mad woman).  So….I thought for my birthday, I wanted to dance around the world. I wanted to pick an action that exuded delirious happiness, being caught up in a moment, moving in sound without a care in the world.  Movement. What better order to the universe than envisioning myself fully energetically, nomadically dancing around the world?  What better announcement to say this is the healthy, happy future I see for myself than to simply dance?

I cranked up the tunes on my iPod,  and I…

danced under the fool moon on beaches around the world

danced at a street festival somewhere in Europe

danced around a bonfire at a cottage surrounded by friends

danced on a hot summer day at a BBQ in my fave maxi dress

danced at my fave Cali bar at sunset

danced on the streets of Amsterdam laughing my head off

danced in an outdoor club in Greece

danced in the car on a road trip with a friend

danced everywhere and anywhere

The list could go on for days – it’s amazing how many places around the world you can dance in an hour’s meditation! Oh, and I actually danced in the seated meditation pose. Yes, I did. And I could not care who was watching. If they came close enough, I would have asked them to join me.

I meditate quietly every day. But sometimes a girl just needs to dance. If you want a really simple way to put an order into the universe to say,”Hey, can you help me feel more like THIS?” Just. Dance.

44 Is Here: It’s My Magical Birthday!

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It’s my birthday tomorrow. The big 44. Power 4 to the 4. Bring it on 44. The number I dreamed about as a child. My fave number. As in 4+4=8=Infinity. My power year.  It’s also International No Diet Day.  I think it is positively delicious that this empowering day falls on my birthday every year and My Magical Birthday this May!  Lucky me!

I don’t know how it started…all I know is that on every sports team when I had a choice to pick a number, I would try to get 44. If it wasn’t available, I would try for 4, 8 or 16 – any version of 4-4 I could get my hands on. When something like a 17 or a 5 was available I wasn’t too thrilled. I’d grin and bear it all season while hoping and praying the next sport on my list would have a different set of number choices. Other girls would zero in on the colour of a shirt, I went for the number on it.

My entire life I have felt that my 44th year on this planet would be magical. I’d have everything in place – the perfect guy, the perfect career, house, you name it. My Magical Birthday would go down in Bora Bora or somewhere similar. A mystical astrologer even confirmed several years ago that my lifelong gut feeling that every aspect of my life would come into place in my 44th year. I left his place grinning.

I did not factor into my 44ness however,  several years of feeling like crap leading up to it. Or the amount of resources and frustration that would go into feeling better. Or the fact that walking, talking and simply being would become so difficult for so long. This was all not in The 44 Plan!

But I sit here today, one day before the Magical 44 Year begins, I am so energized, so grateful, so filled with love that my heart could burst. I never knew it was possible to sit in such sheer and utter gratitude. To be so happy. I am not in Bora Bora, not dating or married and my bathroom is being ripped apart in the room beside me and dust is everywhere. My house is a revamp disaster zone. And I am grinning. What gifts I have been given leading up to this day, this year, this new part of my life.  What magic exists in knowing, truly knowing, what is really important in life, what makes your heart soar, what makes your eyes sparkle and your soul wanna get up and dance.  What makes you sing at the top of your lungs in your car as amused drivers laugh beside you. That kind of happy.

Liis-on-Life-Magical-Birthday

I have had my old energy – the I-can-light-the-world-on-fire energy – this past month. My walking and everyday energy has been quite amazing for 30 days. Yesterday I had a quite a full day working with Inside the Dream, one of my fave organizations making change in the world and my system got taken to the limit from the activity.  And my walking and talking had moments of well, slightly wandering away. But I bounced back. And today I bounced back even more. There used to be no bounce back. I sit in gratitude for the bounce back. For when bounce back stretches into forever.

The past couple years leading up to My Magical Birthday, I went from envisioning where in the world I would be lavishly celebrating and with whom to simply wanting one thing:  Universe, please allow my brain to work. Please allow me to be creative again, be able to think and contribute to this planet. If my body won’t work, if I won’t be able to walk properly, if my arms will remain weak, please just allow my brain to work. Let it be connected to my heart and soul and be able tell stories, to be able to talk with people. To have meaningful experiences.  To make a difference even in some small way.

And today, my brain works. There is no better gift in the entire universe than having your brain work. To be able to think. Create. Brainstorm. Plot. Plan. Dream. Envision endless possibilities. Express who you really are.  Express who you want to be. Talk to the universe. THAT is truly magical. I don’t need to be in Bora Bora tomorrow to open up that gift!

Just so you know….I plan to rock The 44th (day,year, forever) like the ceiling can’t hold me , dance like everybody is watching because I don’t give a damn, and rock the hell out of getaways near and far.  I plan to sing loudly and most likely out of tune, smile and talk to strangers and go on adventures. And I will relish the act of thinking, creating and enjoying all the nuances of life I used to take for granted.  And I will walk and exercise because I can, not because I should or feel like I have to but because it is a thrill to have the privilege to do so.

Bring on the magic. Bring on the fun. Here’s to looking forward to birthdays the older we get and being excited to celebrate another year, to admire the laugh lines on our faces that means we have lived, loved and laughed. To appreciate the amazing gifts, abilities and qualities our bodies provide. Here is to having our cake and eating it too and celebrating International No Diet Day knowing our bodies are amazing works of art, masterpieces gradually lovingly receiving more beautiful touches of paint.  To living IN healthy and happy lifestyles not being ON diets we can fall off.

This is THE year.

The Magical Year.

The everything and anything is possible year.

Game on 44. Game on.

 

 

 

Why You’ll Never Hear Me Complain About Winter

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This winter rocked.

Shovelling was awesome.

Clearing off my car repeatedly was thrilling.

Chipping ice off my windows was fantastic.

Digging out my car tires was joy filled.

Repeatedly clearing my walk made me smile.

I am not sure if this winter had more snow than most, was colder than normal, or I was just more aware of the typical I-hate-winter comments that seem to be the norm every year. All I know, is that my body and brain allowed me to do everyday tasks that I am sure I used to moan and kvetch about year after year. I am now bowing out of that comment game forever.

For the first time in several years, I didn’t have to meticulously plan my energy for the week if I had to dig my car out. I didn’t have to think about how I would lift my arms to clear the roof off my car, pray for sun to melt the ice off the windows because I had zero strength to scrape them, I didn’t get completely nauseous and dizzy from five minutes of snow clearing, I didn’t have to clear my car in short segments up to 5 times for something that should have taken a few minutes and sleep for hours after.  I could actually not only push a shovel but grip the handle and lift heavy snow and toss it to the side. Much better than my adopted technique of trying to brush aside a path with my feet.

I found myself grinning from ear to ear from the sheer joy and gratitude of getting to clear off my car. I had energy and I wanted to use it! I went a little crazy a few times and decided to clear off my neighbours’ cars too.  Same with shovelling….I just kept going…because I could. There may have been a few appreciative happy dances beside my car, and several walks through fresh fallen snow with a huge grin on my face. And I did not chime in on the winter complaining…I became the annoying Susie Sunshine of Winter World.

I didn’t get to skate this winter – was still too wobbly for that. But the sheer JOY from digging my car out and shovelling made up for it. Sound crazy?  When everyday tasks are taken away, and you get them back, you will never moan about them again.  They are gifts of movement. They are gifts of strength. They are gifts of independence.

It’s April and everyone is expecting spring.  Yesterday was one of the first days in months that I was really energetic and walked normally all day – no back pain from overcompensating for my legs walking wobbly, no knees buckling, no feeling like my legs were jello, no sensory overload and my brain felt sharp.  Magical day all around.  I went to a movie and came out to a surprise snowfall. I grinned as I yet again cleared my car off. I thought it was a nice winter send off as I was standing on my strong legs, with my strong arms able to quickly clear off my car.  I am so excited for winter next year. Bring on skating. Bring on skiing. Bring on a hike in the snow. And bring on more car clearing. Bring on shovelling. I can’t wait.

 

 

This Question is Messing with People: How Are You?

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Hello. How are you?  This simple phrase keeps getting me in trouble. When I call a service number, I want to ask the person how he or she is doing before I start yammering on about what I need. I think it’s only polite. People keep getting tense and even a little angry – edgy if you will. Why did it become the norm that simply posing a question ruffles people’s feathers with them automatically thinking you want something?  That you are a pushy telemarketer?  It irks me. I know I don’t sound like a cheesy salesperson. My friends have confirmed it.

There is another common reaction: complete silence. Shocked silence. Some people are so accustomed to going through an entire day without anyone asking about them that they just don’t know how to answer the question…any question. It is a shock to their system. This is usually followed by a slow stuttering,”I’m fine thank you!”  They work through the shock.

A third reaction is the complete silence while sitting in the disbelief that someone cares enough to ask followed by the automatic I-probably-did-not-hear-that-correctly-so-that-question-never-happened-vibe. They then dive right into business talk. Sometimes they recover from auto-pilot mode, sometimes not.

So my question is this, how did we get to the point that asking how someone is doing creates mistrust, anger and disbelief because it is such a foreign concept? How did this happen? Personally, I plan to keep this up and freaking people out. We need to change the vibe of people thinking a question is a means to take energy from them rather than a way to give or share energy with them. Let’s shake it up shall we?

 

I Climbed the Mountain & Reclaimed My 5K

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I’ve had a few days to reflect upon my Reclaim My 5K project – or race if you rather. I didn’t think I would go through so many emotions before, during and after one week of walking! I find the daily in’s and out’s of living with autoimmunity and gluten ataxia to be fascinating – on a mental, physical and spiritual level. Every time I think I can’t possibly reach another level of gratitude, of awe and wonder… and yes, frustration, I do.  Craziest roller coaster I have ever been on.

There is an amazing energy in reclaiming something that you feel has been taken away – not lost – taken away. I feel as though I have been staring up at the mountain I had planned to climb for several years and have been camped out at the base watching everyone else go up for a climb in the bright sunshine. Your brain never stopped wanting to climb. Your heart never stopped wanting to climb. Your soul never stopped wanting to climb. Your body just kept saying,”I still need to rest. Not ready yet.” And so you waited. And waited. And waited. And kept staring up that mountain. Day after day.

Liis on Life Reclaim My 5K

Rocking the KM’s with the help of GoodLife Fitness, Katie K Active (K1,3,5) & Reitmans (K2,4)

It felt really good to reclaim that mountain. I burst out crying several times leading up to Day 1. I just didn’t think I would ever get back to walking so far. I think if you saw me, you’d think I look perfectly normal, maybe even athletic. I felt alive on that first day and was in shock that I could have actually walked a little further. I felt like an athlete having the sponsorship of KatieK Active and Reitmans. Wearing their clothes made the physical aspect of simply walking slowly feel worthy and important. I felt valued as an athlete – regardless of my pace. Having them and GoodLife Fitness support me enthusiastically on this journey symbolically on a soul level meant…

You see me.

You see who I was.

You see who I am.

You see who I will be.

As each day went on, and I got another KM under my belt, something inside me was switching over from years of sitting in the energy of UNATTAINABLE  to the energy of ACCOMPLISHMENT. It was a monumental shift for me, a necessary shift. I realized how urgent it had be for me to make up a race, create this project and not wait for summer weather and an official race. It needed to be done NOW – in whatever form could happen NOW.

 

Liis on Life Reclaim My 5K

On the Reclaim My 5K finish line with Head Coach Momma Fran & my 1st place medal & trophy!

As the week went on, the support I received was incredible and I had tears reading comments from many people – some complete strangers. More than ever, it made me realize the importance of sharing our thoughts with each other, sending comments and encouragement to those we love and to those we have never met. This was so uplifting as I became completely exhausted during the week and my brain started shutting down. It’s like there is a pump and the more activity I do, the more it pumps the energy out of my brain. Legs need to work = brain loses power. This has been gradually improving thankfully.

I had sea legs every time I got off the treadmill and it would take several hours to calm my system down.  My gait went through several phases last week – I have to speak of them affectionately – the clomp, the little kid stomping through puddles, the wobble, the shuffle, the prancing horse. And just plain old herky-jerky. My dad always insisted it was a real expression, I begged to differ but have to agree, it describes my walking quite accurately now!

All unique.

All fascinating.

All aspects of me.

I got frustrated part way through the week because my brain started to slow down leading to complete brain fog, slurring of words and stuttering. It made putting up coherent posts on social media about the race quite challenging. I have agreed to do an important speech in June and I started to panic thinking simply walking for a few days may have jeopardized that. Being in uncharted health territory in which relapses have lasted for months,  sometimes the future unfolds like a mystery grab bag in which you don’t know what the contents are until you open it up.

I have to say though….Day 5 was sweet! Finishing what had eluded me for so long felt FANTASTIC. That 5th KM represented so much more than a physical accomplishment. It was a mental and spiritual victory after years of patience.  To have my mom there meant a lot. She has been with me every step of this journey hopping on airplanes with me trying to get a diagnosis and treatment, cheering me on when I would somehow get through live TV appearances and crumble after, and being right beside me on this roller coaster – for the exciting highs and the not-so-fun lows. My crew of cool babes Shelli, Lori-ann and my sister Cheryl rock for helping me all week – and always. My nieces and sister Karen sent along victory flowers and a card which made the end of the race even more special.

I pretty much stayed in bed all day after I finished and didn’t speak with anyone for 2 days. Or in Secret Op Code that I have with my friends to make light of the situation, I simply text: Going dark.  That means they know I need to decompress. I’m alive, but don’t call me because I can’t talk (because at some points, talking is as exhausting as movement). But here’s the magical part – the bounce back. My friends and family talked me through it…look how far you’ve come…look where you were this time last year…you’ll rebound faster this time…this will be a good test to see where you are after a few days of rest. They rock the party. Large. After several days of shuffling and walking into walls, I walked almost normally yesterday and even did a couple hours of shooting – IN HEELS!  (Wobbly, and standing in place, but in heels) Nice. Most importantly, my brain is sharp and focused today. Ideas are flowing. Creativity is firing. My brain and my body are acting as one. I see my June speech before me with no problems…but will make sure not to do a lot of walking leading up to it! And an all week Zumba marathon is not going to happen…

Liis on Life Reclaim My 5K

Race medal & trophy for Liis Your Feet Have Wings Windischmann

The trophy I bought myself reflects my feelings today. There is a running shoe with wings flying over a stopwatch. Time is not important. Speed is not important. My feet, my amazing, agile-in-whatever-form feet have wings to carry them and are flying over all of that. I am above that stopwatch running my own race. Running my way up that mountain. And it feels good.

To those of you on a similar journey…

I toast you for the slow and steady climb up whatever mountain has been eluding you.

I walk beside you on your journey of reclaiming a part of you that has been away for far too long.

I celebrate whatever stage you are at in restoring your health & happiness.

I honour your abilities whatever stage they are at.

I know your body is a masterpiece of beauty and perfection.

I’ve got this. You’ve got this. We’ve got this. Done. On to more mountains and adventures! #rockyourbody

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve Reclaimed Over Half of My 5K!

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I’m halfway there and then some! Insert happy dance here. I have been smiling all week but I am not going to lie…I could be in bed every night by 9:00! I guess I haven’t realized how many breaks I have been giving myself while out walking trying to build up my stamina. But I realized today how many gifts were in those breaks…

On my “race training circuit,” I’ve stopped to speak more often with people out walking their dogs, and played with lots of puppies. I’ve laughed out loud watching kids try to run around in their overstuffed winter coats and snow pants. I’ve snapped amazing winter photos and studied the lights and decor in trees. I’ve even meditated on the sunny days – lots of available benches in winter!

Liis Windischmann Reclaim My 5K

Reclaim My 5K – Race outfit Katie K Active

I met some lovely and encouraging women today at GoodLife Fitness​ who were asking about what I was up to. So nice to have their support! It was also nice to walk, talk and look sideways and not fall over! That is one of the side effects of gluten ataxia and I am happy that is no longer happening. I have already fallen off the treadmill….don’t really need it to happen again!

Liis Windischmann Reclaim My 5K

Reclaim My 5K – Race outfit Reitmans Hyba Activewear

I’ve had such amazing support from my friends and family and the community on social media!  Every comment leaves me grinning, several have moved me to tears and the encouragement from complete strangers is quite lovely. My amazing friend Shelli was my coach and photographer on Day 1 and my wonderful sister Cheryl has been out helping me reclaim the treadmill throughout the week. I laughed out loud listening to an incredible voice mail from my nieces and sister Karen wishing me well on my big race. That’s a keeper for sure! And my head coach?  That would have to be my mom Fran. She has literally been with me every step (wobbly or otherwise) of the way. She travelled with me to find a diagnosis and came with me to physiotherapy and let me cry on her shoulder many times.  She will be with me when I cross the “finish line.” I am one lucky woman.

With 3K down and 2 to go, I am simply thrilled this week is happening. Thrilled the inner and outer athlete have met up again. Thrilled to be in an energetic busy gym.  A big part of healing from gluten ataxia is being able to be in a busy environment without having system overload. Just going to a gym is an accomplishment – getting on the treadmill is an added bonus! Walking on that treadmill? Even bigger bonus! Thanks GoodLife Fitness!

Liis Windischmann Reclaim My 5K

Reclaim My 5K – Race outfit Katie K Active

Have to mention my amazing race outfits from Katie K Active​ and Reitmans’ Hyba Activewear line.  I greatly admire companies that know fitness comes in all shapes and sizes.  That’s really important to me!  I feel like a true athlete with their support. I look forward to following up on the pieces more after the race because I really must brag about how fun and fabulous they are! Keep catching them this week as I share photos from each leg of the race on Facebook and Instagram.

I have been excited to share this race with you because it’s for all of us who have had to reclaim something be it health related or otherwise. I am glad to be on this journey with you and look forward to being a part of your race one day, whatever that race may be. I will be cheering you on!

See you at the finish line!

Psst! Katie K Active has extended a race discount to my tribe. Until April 30th, enter code LOL15 for a $15 credit towards an order of $25 or more (cannot be combined with other offers, sale items or used for gift cards).

 

It is Time to Reclaim My 5K!

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In 2011, I was rocking my workouts. I was on fire. I had just segued from twice weekly boot camp sessions to almost daily gym visits. I was really proud of myself for being the only woman in the history of the boot camp sessions to not participate in the monthly measurements and weigh-ins. For me, it was about feeling powerful, athletic. Killing my workouts was my goal. Altering my size was never my focus. I was on a mission to feel great and get moving. I still chuckle flashing back to having my hips measured for a modelling client who needed to fit a particular pair of pants on me. My hip measurement actually increased because my behind got so muscular – and curvy –  from all the glute work I had done and was now sitting higher. Nice. I was amused.

I grew to love jogging. Always athletic growing up, I loved various workouts over the years, adored sprints and day long bike rides, yet had dreaded jogging.  I do not exaggerate when I say I loathed it. But I kept hearing about this elusive runners’ high and decided to keep pushing through the dread to see if I could find it. And one day I did. And I was hooked. And jogging became thrilling and fun.

Although I excelled in running in my younger years, this didn’t seem to translate to jogging talent in 2011.  It would be quite accurate to say I started off jogging a 14 minute mile versus a 4 minute one…. Didn’t matter to me. I would challenge myself every gym visit to shave a few seconds off my time.  5 seconds? Amazing. 30? Happy dance + fist pumps and most likely some high fiving of complete strangers. What started off as initially struggling and gasping to make it through 5 minutes became a decent speed over 3 kms with me plotting how to keep improving my form, pace, distance and time. I melodically got lost in my own world and enjoyed every minute of it.

The only person I was competing with was me and my personal bests.

In the winter, I started scoping out 5K events for the fall. I started planning how to segue my indoor jogging to outdoor terrain once the weather got a little warmer. I was still mastering the flat surface of a treadmill – uneven surfaces, uphill terrain and bumpy, slushy snow would have to wait until further along in my “training.” The girl who couldn’t stand jogging was now plotting her first long distance race! I even fried the treadmill one day while doing an all out sprint.  I was secretly smirking when I saw the repair sign on it the next day.  Although I felt badly for putting a much needed machine out of commission, it put an extra spring in my step and was confirmation my race was going to happen.

But…

I didn’t see the signs that my health was going off course in early 2011. In fact, I hadn’t seen the steady stream of warnings that were being presented over the previous years either.  In the spring, I started to feel sluggish and breathless during my jogs and one day experienced vertigo. Let’s just say vertigo + jogging + a treadmill does not a good match make. I shook it off and went home. We do that – shake warnings off. We shouldn’t.

Then one day IT happened.

I didn’t realize on that day that my life was about to completely change.

I was about 5 minutes into my jog when my body shut down and the world started to move in slow motion. I literally just stopped jogging and flew off the end of the treadmill into the wall. All my limbs just ceased to know what to do. I made a fairly graceful recovery amidst the smirks around me.  I walked right out of the gym heading home in a haze. I tried to reason with myself that maybe I didn’t eat enough protein that day…

The 5 minute walk home took over an hour. I collapsed on a curb unable to move. I willed someone to walk by. Nobody was on the street. Not one car passed. I sat there motionless in the pelting rain waiting to regain my energy.  I could not move an inch.  Walking the last 200 or so metres seemed like forever. I made it into my kitchen on my hands and knees and crawled up the stairs.

I’ll be fine.

Maybe I should work out in the afternoons instead?

I’ll go to the doctor soon.

It’s amazing what you reason with yourself in the moment. When you body is screaming out for help, has given you a million and one signs and you still aren’t cluing in.  In that moment, I did not realize…

That all plans to do my 5K race just fell off that treadmill.

That parts of me just fell off that treadmill.

That my abilities up until that day were more amazing than I even knew.

What I thought would be a quick recovery turned into an over 4 year soul journey as my health took me to levels of pain and frustration and depths of understanding and appreciation I didn’t know possible. I bartered with my body and brain daily for snippets of movement and activity. Some days my bartering worked and many it didn’t. Through the roller coaster ride of  having abilities, losing them, regaining them repeatedly over days, months and years, I would often wonder, “If I can’t even walk properly, will I ever be able to jog again?” More than anything these last few years, my health journey with Hashimoto’s, endometriosis and gluten ataxia has instilled in me a sense of body love and admiration that is off the charts – no matter what ability level my body is at. As long as my brain works, I can accomplish anything in this world.

There are many times over the last few years that I have thought of my 5K and thought it unattainable, thought I would never get my health back to even think about doing it. It was a carrot dangling in front of me I was never able to reach. And last month it hit me. I am going to do it. I may not do it the way I set out to do in 2011…

But I’m going to do it a new way.

Who says I have to jog?  Who says I even have to do it all at once?  Who says I have to keep waiting for a future day that may keep stretching into forever? I have decided to reinvent my race, make it what I can do, make it something attainable and not something always in the future. Make it fun. Pat myself on the back. Celebrate what I can do today – not a year or five down the road.

Do it now.

Reclaim My 5K - Liis Windischmann

You know the term ‘back in the saddle?’ Well, back on the treadmill! And this time I refuse to fly into a wall.  I am not sure when I will be able to walk 5K let alone jog it.  But I am quite certain I can rock walking 1K…5 times!  I have yet to walk 1K since 2011….but I have been working up to it…and I have faith. It’s been really cold outside but words can’t express how joy-filled my daily walking has been.  I need to do this for me. I need to prove to myself that I can reinvent my starting line, reinvent my race.

I NEED TO RECLAIM MY 5K!

I plan to walk 1K per day – on a treadmill – over five days starting Monday March 9th through to Friday March 13th. I am honoured that body positive GoodLife Fitness  has agreed to sponsor my race!  With a mantra of Training for Every Body, this is my kind of gym.  Also supporting me on my race is Katie K Active and Reitmans.  Love both these companies for creating athletic clothing from straight sizing through to plus sizes because everybody and every body deserves to feel great while reaching their fitness goals.

I hope you will join me this week on my race.  There have been so many times I thought I would need a wheelchair or walker for my gluten ataxia, planned my days out in the steps needed to get from point A to B. A couple months ago as I was starting physiotherapy, I didn’t think walking 1K would be remotely possible.  But I keep inching closer to goals and I am honoured where my legs take me, honoured for where my brain is allowing my limbs to go.  I need to do this for me. But I also want to do this for all the amazing individuals whom I have met or encountered who have had a health event stop them dead in their tracks too…have made them feel like a their goals were now out of reach.  We all need to know we can recreate our race, whatever that race may be.

And one last note…when I first decided to do this, I had no idea this project would fall into Brain Awareness Week. What amazing timing and beautiful energy during my race…

Let’s do this!

Please join me on the race route on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter!

#ReclaimMy5K   #rockyourbody

 

Welcome to a New Liis on Life!

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Thank you so much for visiting Liis on Life! I am so happy to share this space with you and am looking forward to connecting often. Yes, this website is a play on my name… but it really does reflect a new energy for me, a new direction, a new purpose in life. If we are meeting here for the first time then a big hello to you!  And if some of you know me through my over 20 years in the fashion industry, I am happy to connect with you again.

Sometimes you blissfully walk through life thinking your future is going in one direction then all of a sudden a giant hand swoops down and declares, “Change of course! You are now going this way!” You find yourself on a completely different path, one you never envisioned or chose.  You protest, you reflect, you rage, and then a moment of calm clarity comes about and you realize the universe chose your experiences for a reason, that you attracted in your experiences for a reason – or a million – a million really, really important ones.  And you realize all your experiences are meant to be shared in order to help someone else in the exact same spot you were just in.

Looking back I was physically falling apart for years – but always with a smile on my face, always while keeping busy and moving onto the next project in my life. (Sound familiar anyone?) There were warning signs that my body was crying out for help. There was a growing disconnect with my mind, body & soul – they weren’t having the same conversation. The universe kept bellowing:

Hey Liis!

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

HOW ABOUT RIGHT NOW?!

It wasn’t until I completely fell apart and started putting back the pieces that I realized all this, until I heard the universe LOUD and CLEAR. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune thyroid dis-ease in 2011, endometriosis in 2012 and the clincher, the rare dis-ease cerebellar gluten ataxia in 2013. My list of symptoms was enormous and the daily pain was off the charts.  Were there good times in there? Absolutely. Some great times in fact. Some travelling and some nights of dancing even. Some amazing career projects. But to say I have done a lot of soul searching, health homework and deep reflection would be an understatement. I feel as if I just completed a university degree I didn’t realize I had signed up for!

I like to call the last few years my “spiritual time-out.”  In all the pain and all the frustration, there were so many lessons, so much knowledge gained, so many moments of amazement and wonder. To the general public who have seen me on numerous TV appearances and in fashion campaigns, it may not have seemed like anything was wrong but every event – even if only one or two hours – required meticulous planning and then recuperation. From first adopting a gluten free life in 2011 to embracing a Paleo lifestyle in late 2013, I have grown to realize the healing energy of food, meditation and positive thinking and the power we have to change the course of our dis-ease, our happiness, our lives.

As I sat in my time-out chair, I did reflect on a lot, and came to new levels of understanding on so many platforms.  After labour, mothers will always say of course they would go through it all again in order to have their children. Although not a mother, I can relate to that sentiment – I have come out the other side with a new lease on life I wouldn’t trade for anything in this world.  There is no going back to “before.” I have wept so many tears of gratitude and sit in such gratefulness every day.  My friends now lovingly say, ”Aww Liis, are you crying from happiness again?”

I have created this space and welcome you here to learn, to grow, to laugh, to embrace your inner child and hug the hell out of her. To reach out to your future self and proactively take care of her right now, this very instant – and let her know how amazing she is. To love yourself today, just the way you are in all your amazing perfection. To live in joy daily. To shake up your routine. To ask questions. To not only think outside the box but live like it never existed. To cry tears of total joy. To surprise and amaze yourself. To do your health homework because it is really, really good for your mind, body and soul!

Let’s lose the obsession with what size is on the label of our jeans and daily weigh-ins and always calorie counting shall we? My shape and size has changed dramatically through all this and it is but one  small part of my story. My curvy body allowed me to travel the world with a career I loved, connecting with incredible people around the world. I honour my body throughout time, whatever shape or size. Weight and size is such a small part of who all of us really are.  This site is about body love for everybody and every BODY.

If I can help others from going through the same health issues and rude awakening I did, I sure want to try.  As this site grows, and as I continue to grow, I hope you will join me. I am so looking forward to it!

 

Make Morning Meditation as Important as Brushing Your Teeth

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Would you ever leave home without brushing your teeth? Of course not. Really gross. (And if you do, well, um, we can’t be friends) The thought of it would never occur to you. It is something necessary to feel good, to feel refreshed, to start your day. Without ever questioning it, it is simply a vital part of your morning routine.

It only takes a couple minutes.

You do it every single day without fail.

You feel better after.

So what about a morning meditation? Before you offer up a million and one excuses as to why this won’t work, hear me out…

I am still on my healing journey with cerebellar gluten ataxia and will be (lovingly) doing health homework for well, forever. In a nutshell, gluten was affecting the part of my brain which controls motor skills and tap dancing on my nerves. Walking became laboured to say the least and my world became one of sensory overload. The combo of a few minute walk to a din-filled restaurant would take me down before the entrees hit the table. But the one thing that always helped calm down all the symptoms and still does is meditation.

I have always loved meditating and can peacefully sit in silence for long periods of time, on a bench, under a tree,  in crowded areas, in the middle of a rock concert if need be and would do it sporadically. When the pain and exhaustion was too much I would often listen to ocean waves or calm music if I couldn’t quiet my own cranium. Then one day it hit me, if meditation always made me feel so good, helped me to walk better, helped calm down my nervous system and cleared my brain, why wasn’t I doing it every day?  I love fruits and vegetables and eat them every day because they are good for me. Well…meditation is good for me too. And every day seemed like a good idea.

Autoimmunity has forced me to create some new morning routines to keep my wellness on track. I decided to add meditation to the list. I quietly sit down every morning after brushing my teeth and showering.  I usually sit for anywhere from five minutes to ten , sometimes longer.  Even a couple minutes is a gift every morning and lets me start my day on a calm, peaceful, yet energetic note.  Most times I am able to sit with a clear mind but if it does wander, I may choose that morning to set some intentions for my day or give thanks for the positives in my life. And if something pops in my head unexpectedly, I don’t try to push it away, I question what I am to learn from it. There are no words to describe how grounding – and necessary this morning ritual has become.

I don’t have kids so I can already see the parents rolling their eyes. I hear you! I know mornings with kids can be crazy. But if your mornings are hectic, where can you slot in the calm? If you have little ones running around, and literally don’t have 2 minutes of peace, here are some suggestions:

Close your eyes in the shower and calm your mind for even a minute – sit if you want to – why not?

Listen to a relaxing meditation be it sounds or music in your car, on the subway or on your commuter train

Take turns with your partner getting the kids ready in the mornings so you both can carve out a couple minutes to meditate on alternate days

Get up a few minutes before everyone else and alter your morning routine slightly

I am not what you would call a morning person so the fact that this is my new normal is shocking even to me! But I’ve grown to crave it. I can’t imagine missing it. It has become as vital and normal as brushing my teeth.  For those of you thinking of how crazy your mornings are, those of you still rolling your eyes at me right now, I leave you with this – can you carve 5 minutes out of your lunchtime or break every day? And just sayin’…you also brush your teeth every night before going to bed…  Pick a time that works for you and stick with it for 2 weeks.  Looking forward to hearing how you feel.

No, Thank You!

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There are two types of people who completely mess up the compliment process.  I like to label these folks Rebounders and Blockers. Unfortunately, it’s generally women. Let’s break these down shall we? 

Several years back I was chatting with my dear friend Meghan and she paid me a compliment.  As per conditioning and without hesitation, I cheerfully fired a compliment right back at her.  She stared at me, paused and said,” As women, we have zero concept of how to accept a compliment.  We don’t even let it absorb before we feel compelled to send one right back. We need to stop doing this!” As this nugget of wisdom sunk in, I admitted, much to my chagrin, that I was in fact acting like a Rebounder. We talked about this compliment rebounding debacle in depth and realized how very real it was. We made a pact to simply be thankful for a compliment and accept it with a simple “thank you.”  Do you have any idea how hard this was in the beginning?

It actually took me several months of reconditioning to accept a compliment without feeling obligated to send one back. It took me a long time to simply say thanks and leave it at that. This was a gift being given to me.  I did not have to instantly give a gift back.  It’s like your birthday – it’s your special day once per year that earns you presents and praise.  On someone else’s birthday, you give presents and praise.  You would never feel obligated to give your friend a gift on your birthday after receiving one right?  Why? Because we all need individual times to shine and there is a time and a place for everything.

I would love to tell you how I started the “Be a Rebounder No More Revolution” but Meghan instigated all this cleverness. Through our discussions I realized that you actually diminish the energy you are giving another when you fire back a compliment in response to one received.  It is a reflexive statement not a deep generated thought. And you diminish the beautiful energy coming your way by not fully accepting a compliment as a gift with no strings attached. 

This little experiment has taught me much over the years. I make a deeper connection when someone pays me a compliment.  I really listen to what is being said versus trying to come up with an instant comeback.  The compliment resonates deeply within me and I am thrilled that someone has gone out of her way to say something nice. I am happier receiving a compliment as a true gift.  I in turn take care to pay more people compliments but very genuine ones from my heart that aren’t “paybacks” but built upon something truly nice or remarkable that person has done that reflects who she is. This way the compliment is all about her and not an extension of the one sent to me.

Now, with a great track record of accepting compliments, I don’t feel so guilty being a reformed Rebounder especially when I look at the competition – the Blockers.  You know exactly who I’m talking about!  These women never accept a compliment and in fact start putting themselves down to fend off the positivity coming their way.  It wouldn’t be so bad if they just mumbled out of shyness – it’s far worse than that.  When a Blocker is paid a compliment saying how nice she looks, she will loudly exclaim,” What are you talking about? I look terrible. A-w-f-u-l! Like crap! Are you serious?” And if you tell her you like her blouse, she’ll say,” This old thing?  Are you kidding me?”  Not only has she rebuffed a compliment and completely put herself down, she has gone one step further – she has insulted the judgment of the person trying to give it! Hell, she has insulted the complimenter (Is that a word?…It is now)  period! My rebounding isn’t looking so bad now is it?

If we go back to the entire birthday scenario, Blockers are in essence refusing the gifts given to them.  How rude is that?  How would that attitude go down at a party?

“Here’s your gift.”

“I don’t want it. I don’t deserve it.”

“But it’s a really great gift. You will like it! I got it especially for you.”

“I cannot accept it. Take it back and don’t give me a gift again.”

“Sorry to have offended you. I thought it would make you happy.” (Note to self while shaking head: She despises gifts. Don’t buy her any more. She’s cut off)

Kind of a crappy birthday don’t you think? 

I believe accepting compliments and thus accepting positive energy is so important for the psyche, empowerment and a positive body image that I do an exercise similar to this with the girls’ groups I work with. Trust me, a six-year-old thinks it’s ridiculous to refuse a gift! Good. I want them to carry that sentiment into their later years.

Look at your own life and how you and your family and friends give and receive compliments.  Most importantly, know that little ears hear what you say and mimic what you do. Don’t let them think they are anything less than fiercely amazing! By all means, keep giving but realize what beautiful energy exists in receiving as well.  Enjoy the gift.