Has Your Look Evolved Out of Conscious Creativity or Habit?

My closet looks happy. It looks like this website – bright, serene and colourful and reflects all aspects of my personality.  I like to think I have created a website that is peacefully energetic and think my clothing looks the same. But this wasn’t always the case and it took purging my closet and preparing the photos for this site to really wake me up.

Staring at my closet has caused me to ponder the evolution of my wardrobe which in turn meant the evolution of “my look.” Because I am a Taurus, my closet has always been really well organized and ahem, colour blocked. This wasn’t as much for my closet to look neat and tidy, it was more like in a mad dash, I really wanted to be able to find something quickly. For many years of my modelling career, I would literally have to drop everything and rush to the airport to catch a flight. I often would not know in the morning that by evening I would be in another country. Crazy but true.  Often times I had a bag ready to go in the trunk of my car and my passport in my purse.

So what did I pack? Black everything. Black pants. Black top. Black boots. All black. The textures generally coordinated and everything mixed and matched and any piece I hurriedly threw in my suitcase would look great. It worked then. But…I hadn’t been in that dizzying travel space for years…yet my wardrobe stayed in that energy. This hit me when I was looking for outfits to wear for the shoot for this site. I knew the vibrancy of my life , the upbeat energy I was now sitting in after a long health journey and the energy I wanted to project through my website – and my wardrobe was energetically out of alignment. I frequently encourage women to think outside the box with their fashion choices and I wasn’t following my own advice.

Something bigger hit me.  I owned several pieces that had become a crutch for me throughout my health journey. Because my size could radically change due to inflammation, and my body became so sensitive to fabrics, there were months that I actually looked pregnant and nothing fit or felt good. I wore one pair of stretch jeans, a couple baggy black tops and leggings constantly simply because they fit and didn’t hurt. This was not a consciously created look – it was “a look” created out of necessity. I realized this clothing held a lot of painful energy. Interestingly enough, when I made this realization, my jeans literally split in half – and not in a way that could be salvaged in a seam – right in the fabric. Time for change. Hello! The universe is knocking…on my closet door!

As my size evolved throughout my health journey, I started to slowly change my wardrobe. I donated items to charities and consigned others. I made a point of not buying anything black.  I asked sales associates to bring me items they thought would look good on me but only in bright colours. I didn’t balk at any item that appeared and was intrigued to like colours and styles I would not have picked for myself. The black section of my closet started to shrink and more colour started to appear. I would actually stare at it and smile knowing this was another part of me coming out of my dis-ease – living life in colour so to speak.

Do I still wear black clothing? Yes. I do love the look of all black and having dark basics to mix and match is just smart.  But when you hear excited comments from every single person you know along the lines of, ”You look great in that colour,” you should listen to those that know you best! Black is now but one amazing colour in my wardrobe equally balanced by several others. There are days I am in the mood for bold red, stripes, bright blue and many others, and yes, there are days I am in the mood for black. We all have many facets to our personalities and it is important to honour all of them. Wearing that bright yellow jacket in photos on this site is me owning my shift – leaping into a new energy…or more importantly, an energy that has been in me the entire time that needed to be awakened.(And I so enjoyed freaking out all my friends who never would have expected me to buy a yellow jacket) (Still laughing about it)

So, I ask you, are you making a conscious statement in your clothing or are you dressing and buying items, styles or colours out of habit? Does your wardrobe fit the energy you want in your life?  Without spending a lot of money, what small changes can you make to honour all of you through the outfits you choose to wear?  Let your beautiful self shine through every day!