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The Unexpected Body Image Teacher

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The last few years have been an epic body love roller coaster ride. Want to possess the most positive body image ever imaginable? Have your body completely fall apart a million times, a million different ways. Scars, weight, stretch marks, size …none of it will matter when your abilities come back, when your legs let you walk, when your mouth lets you speak, when your arms can hold someone you love dearly, when you have the mental strength to be fully present.

Every one of my working and non working body parts has taught me about total love, acceptance and patience. But there is one small body part that I never imagined would be such a great body image teacher, would inspire so many conversations with my nieces about body love – my thumbnails.

My fingers have been some of the last parts of my body to come back to health. They have gone through many painful phases and as they have changed, they have allowed me to realize inside my body has been healing and getting back on track. They have been a mirror as to what was happening with my brain and immune system. The last holdout has been my thumbnails. They have looked mangled for quite some time. At first I would constantly try to keep nail polish on them to cover up their imperfections. But for the last year, I decided to stop doing this and instead embrace their raw beauty. I enjoy looking down at my unpainted nails daily to see the improvements. They are a symbol of my body’s perseverance.

I’ve held hands with my nieces countless times and conversations have started about my rough, misshapen thumbnails. It has given me the opportunity to tell them about how strong our bodies are, how honoured I am to walk and move and share valuable time with them and how my uniqely different nails are a part of me I am not ashamed of. I’ve shared with them how people have scars of honour on their bodies for the experiences they have gone through and we need to celebrate these badges of beauty. I’ve explained to them how smart my body has been in that it realized the rest of my body needed all the love and attention it could get to recover from autoimmune Hashimoto’s and Gluten Ataxia so it had to stop sending some energy to my nails temporarily because other parts needed it more. My mangled thumbnails represent that my body isn’t broken, it is smart.

Many of our conversations have been silent, with my nieces gently touching my nails, inspecting them in the sweet, honest way children do, knowing every time they check, they are improving and getting healthier, an unspoken realization that so am I. Most importantly, my hands with my imperfectly perfect thumbnails can type again, can write again, can pick up my nieces again and twirl them around and be goofy. How honoured I am to have been bestowed these marks of imperfection that possess the power to start such important conversations.

Create A Mind, Body & Soul Connection This Year

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Each January brings excitement for being able to amp up the energy, clean the slate and start fresh. Change is good. Change is fun.  But most of the ads that bombard us each January revolve around losing weight, focusing on size and counting calories. But we are so much more than just the numbers on a scale! This year, aim to make a mind, body and soul connection that counts all parts of you in.

Here are some easy ways to create some fun, balance and growth this year…

Move your body because you love it – not because you hate it – In the new year’s onslaught of diet ads, before and after photos and pushes for gym memberships, choose to move because you love your body and want to lovingly better it – not because you think it is marred and broken. Stop counting calories and start counting moments – laugh your head off starting a new Zumba class, smirk as you shave a few seconds off your r-e-a-l-l-y long mile time, delight in being a sweaty beast after a gym session. Sign up for a dance class! Or simply have fun playing with your kids outside more. Take more breaks in your day for 15 minute walks. Change your mindset from wanting to fix something that is broken to wanting to improve something that is already ridiculously amazing.

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Dare to be you – It’s about thinking back to when you were a kid, remembering what lit you up, what made you giggle and reclaiming it. Ballet class, soccer or art? It’s about those classes you used to take that somehow faded away with kids and mortgages and bill payments. If your career is not where you want it to be, what tangible steps can you take to create change? Find YOU again and bring her out to play!

Shake up the dynamics – We all tend to get too comfortable in some regards and start doing things on autopilot. Creating new energy sometimes requires taking a step away from a situation to gain a new perspective – or glancing back in time to reawaken forgotten amazing energy. What romantic gestures did you express or which ones won your heart when you and your partner first started dating? Just becauses for no reason? Going to an obscure restaurant? Fun outings? Make a commitment to each other to shake it up! Is it time to create new traditions with your family or friends or revive old ones? You have the power to amp up the energy.

Appreciate the little things – Little things are never just little things! Make a commitment to mindfulness. This could entail something as simple as sitting on a park bench and appreciating a flower garden, taking the time to create a daily 5 second mantra of thanks, quietly appreciating the energy that went into the food on your plate at a meal. Most importantly, pat yourself on the back for every accomplishment you make this year – every “little thing” adds up to big changes.

Laugh more – If you can’t remember the last time you had a serious belly laugh – like holding your stomach on the floor belly laugh, you need to shake it up! Consciously bring more laughter into your world. Hit up a comedy show or movie, take an improv class, send your loved one funny text messages with a goofy photo attached. Rev up the goofy this year. It’s good for your mind, body and soul!

Create time, energy and space for you this year. Because when you feel alive, you have more to give to those around you and you will find even more goodness comes your way.

PSST! I write weekly on this seriously juicy book loving site.  This article originally appeared there. You can catch this article and my other articles and other really great ones by fabulous writers over here.

The Body Love Series: How to Help the Positivity Resonate Mind, Body & Soul

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How to get from here to there. Sometimes it seems easy. Sometimes it doesn’t.  I often speak of something “resonating” with me. If it resonates, I support it, I buy it, I tell others about it, I BELIEVE in it.  It’s an easy sell because it feels right to me.

When it comes to developing body love, sometimes it is not as easy as it seems to get from here to there. Sometimes doubt creeps in, lack of belief in something being true creeps in. Believing in the beauty of your body or a body part doesn’t ring true.  The body love is not resonating so it’s hard to make changes. And I don’t mean physical changes – I mean changing those doubts in your cranium that keep you from celebrating your body exactly like it is like rocking a bikini, wearing shorts or confidently showing off your gorgeous arms without feeling the need to wear long sleeves. It’s all about creating a mind-body-soul connection that feels unified and true to bring about real change and happiness.

I recently discussed easy out-of-the-box ways to meditate and bring about body love every day with an incredible crowd at Curvy Expo. I’ve had several conversations with women about it since so I know the topic has struck a chord.  I gave the audience easy 1-2 sentence mantras to build up body love.  These are positive affirmations that can be said to quiet your mind throughout your day and send yourself some loving vibes. But here is the thing – we are all on different journeys with different starting points, different experiences that brought us to today. So what might be really basic for one woman to believe in her heart could be very difficult for another.  What really resonates as true for one, could feel totally awkward and wrong for another.

On my healing journey, I would often send certain body parts some TLC especially when they weren’t working properly. I’m human – some days it was really hard to believe my legs were strong when they could barely move to allow me to walk, were cramped and aching. I could say “my legs are strong” several times in my head while the rest of my body would be bellowing,’Not this month they aren’t!” I found ways to get over this disconnect….and you can too.

What if your body image issue is with your arms?  Or what if you arms aren’t moving or working how they used to and you are frustrated? What if they have changed in appearance in some way through an accident, dis-ease, aging, scarring, acne or something that bothers you? How do you tell your arms you love them and how do you truly grow to love them when you are at the stage where all you want to do is cover them up?  In order to have a belief resonate throughout your being, you need to feel it mind, body and soul.

Here is a simple way to grow that belief in the core of your being. I am using arms in the example – feel free to replace with whichever body part of yours needs some TLC. Check out these stages to see what types of mantras resonates with you.

Total Arm Love

You find it easy to compliment your arms, deeply feel that words like “strong” and “beautiful” are true and they resonate with you. If you were to think of the praise as compliments from someone, you would accept them with a big grin on your face – it would make your day and you would walk around all sassy after.  These types of statements not only make you feel comfortable, they make you happy and energetically peaceful.

My arms are strong and beautiful.

My arms are curvy and beautiful.

My muscular arms are amazing. I appreciate what they do for me.

My arms are sexy and strong.

My stunning arms give me gifts every day.

If these have resonated with you, fantastic!  Use them throughout the day or create new ones you love. If the above mantras aren’t resonating with you, if you can’t “take the compliments” you’ll feel it – in your gut, in your heart, in the doubt in your head. And that’s ok.  We just need to tweak the body love TLC a little bit for you!

Working Up To Total Arm Love

It’s sometimes easier to see what gifts your body & its parts provide outside of you.  Thinking of your everyday life, how much joy, love and resourcefulness do they bring to you daily? What functions – even bare bones basic – do they provide for you every day?  How do they help you do your job and thus make a living?  Interact with your family and friends?  Pursue hobbies you  love?  Start celebrating everyday “little” actions to see how many amazing gifts you receive on a daily basis.

My arms are strong. They allow me to hold my beautiful baby.

My arms are amazing. They let me hug my beautiful children.

My arms are powerful. They allow me to work at a job I love.

My arms hold love. They let me hug my partner.

My arms create healing. They allow me to make healthy meals for my family.

My arms bring me gifts of movement every day. I am blessed.

My arms allow me to do my job and provide for my family.

My arms hold knowledge. They help me cook/paint/sew/knit/play the piano.

My arms create fun and laughter. They allow me to push my child on a swing.

I promise you, if you can tweak your way of thinking, you can tweak your way of believing allowing yourself to appreciate the powerful, beautiful gifts your body brings you daily.  If you start thinking of all the gifts you receive daily, all the tasks you are able to do, your perception will change. And this doesn’t have to take long. This could literally change your life in less than30 seconds a day!

Please let me know if you create a body love mantra for yourself. Would love to hear about it!

 

The Body Love Series: What Do You Want to Be When You’re Older?

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What do you want to be when you’re older?

A jockey.

You can’t. You’re too big.

What do you want to be when you’re older?

A ballerina.

You can’t. You’d be taller than all your male partners.

What do you want to be when you’re older?

I don’t know.

I flashed back to my childhood career aspirations the other day. I seemed to want to pursue professions that came with society-created body parameters. It occurred to me…how many times did we, as children, put ideas out there only to be told NO based on our size, our shape? Interestingly enough, my career found me when a model scout stopped me in a mall and asked me if I wanted to be a plus-size model – a career based on my size and height. I have spent my career celebrating that size and height and in turn work to break down barriers in fashion to embrace people of all sizes, shapes, backgrounds and abilities.

In wanting to be a jockey, I realize at almost six feet tall that my frame would considerably slow down a horse in a race. Fair enough. Probably would not come in first place. Ok, probably would come in last. But what if society didn’t tell me no?  What if I had pushed ahead based on all the aspects of this potential career I loved…where would I be?  I wanted to be around horses, I wanted to ride fast, I wanted to feel the wind whipping in my face. What if there was another outlet to achieve all of this without a flat out NO? How many doors were closed based on one aspect of a future possibility?

And maybe I never wanted a male dance partner.  Maybe that thought never occurred to me. Maybe I could have been the tall solo ballet dancer. Maybe my ballet dreams would have morphed into other forms of dance, other forms of artistic expression. What future events and experiences were closed off based on the one-track assumptions of a certain ballet teacher whose word I took as concrete truth?

Children are bombarded by info daily. Let’s always remember to explore their dreams with them – all aspects of them.  And let’s always aim to fling as many doors open as possible when the rest of the world is trying to slam them shut. Our bodies are capable of many things – at all sizes, shapes, heights and abilities. Let’s not put ceilings above those bodies where children don’t see them existing.

The Body Love Series: A Real Woman is Every Woman

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I have heard the term “real woman” for years.  As in, this woman is real, that woman is not. Who, exactly gets to decide this?

I have worked with many plus and straight size models for many years and we’d see each other regularly sometimes even weekly depending on our bookings and a lot of them were (and still are) sizes 2-4. They were healthy, happy, smart, incredible women.  We didn’t see size – we were all there to share fashion inspiration and do our job. I admired the models of various ages and sizes I got to work with over the years.

You can imagine my frustration when reporters would label me a “real woman” and ask me questions about the other models I worked with implying their smaller size made them less real than me. I remember one line of questioning in which the reporter asked if I wanted to see every runway showcasing real women like me – all a size 14. I can’t remember my exact quote but my answer went something like this:  “The women in my life – my friends, my family, are all different shapes and sizes. I want to see all shapes and sizes in fashion because that reflects what I see and know around me.  Putting all size 14s on the runway would be just as wrong as putting all size 0s on one, it doesn’t reflect reality. All my friends aren’t the same size as me.” I also remember the reporter really didn’t like my answer! Implying my smaller counterparts – women I greatly liked and admired – were not real drove me crazy. I have skinny family members, I have curvy family members and everything in between. I have friends that are a size 0 and friends that are a 24 and every size in between. When they see models that look like them in all shapes and sizes – and yes, there needs to be way more of this, THAT is real. Diversity is real. Seeing someone like them allows them to know how a garment will fit on their frame.

Lately there have been ahhmazing leaps & bounds made in fashion.  Campaigns are including a lot more diversity and more sizes and ages are being represented. Fashion bloggers of all shapes and sizes have pushed the industry with their creative images and fashion style. I recently spoke with a first year fashion class at Ryerson University and told them there have been more changes in plus-size fashion in the last 2 years than there have been in the last 20.   But the flip side of this positive wave of curvy acceptance, is the use of that dreaded “real woman” saying in all forms of media.  As in:

Finally, a real woman on the cover!

We are finally seeing real women in this magazine!

Thanks for putting a real woman in this campaign.

Real women only from now on please!

Does fashion still need to change? Absolutely.  There are still way too many models in one size range representing a lot of women who do not look like them.  But putting them down in order to celebrate another body type is not the answer. Including a variety of ages, sizes, backgrounds and abilities is the answer.  Getting designers and companies to create several sample sizes so various sized models can be used will help immensely. Fashion schools that are changing the way students think about and create fashion will make them the leaders of tomorrow that will create the diverse media we need to be seeing more of. Applauding companies for making change with social media comments, letters to the editor or sending in an email or letter makes change. I have seen it happen.

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A real woman is every woman. Skinny?  She’s real. Curvy? She’s real? Slim? Real. Fat? Real. Tall. Short. Somewhere in between. Real. Whatever weight, whatever size, whatever age. Still real. Let’s keep pushing for change knowing we’re all real and we’re all beautiful.

The Body Love Series: Flipping Body Frustration to Thankfulness

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I have done more in the last month than I have done in the last year. I have BEEN ABLE to do more in the last month than I have BEEN ABLE to get done in the last year. I have to keep telling myself this during moments of body frustration. It is a huge distinction. And it’s important.

I have been creating and writing and just did two TV segments in one week.  I’m really proud of my physical and mental accomplishments – catch my BT Toronto segment if you haven’t already! I am still in shock that this much activity is going down after literally not being able to move much or talk much – or think much for that matter – for a couple years. But then I get overly excited and want to do more …and my body and brain can’t keep up with my excitement and determination. As my sister lovingly says to me sometimes,”Don’t get too cocky!” After all this activity, my brain was protesting all week, I was exhausted and out of it and my legs decided to revert back to their wobbly ways – only for a couple hours, but enough to get me utterly frustrated and upset and worried. I had to start listening to my own advice. So, in the middle of my wobbly walk, I had to flip my frustrated thinking and I sat myself down on a bench for a little meditative meeting with myself. It went something like this:

Legs, you are so not going there again. This is not cool. This is unfair.  You can’t do this to me. I thought this part was over. You need to work.

Legs, you have come such a long way. You have made so many improvements. You are getting stronger every day, getting more muscle tone again and these setbacks are temporary and hey, you kicked some serious ass this week! You carried me far and held me up to do a lot of fun stuff. Thank you. You rock.

Brain, when are you going to stop shutting down on me?  When is the fogginess and inability to think and create going to go away?  When are you going to be normal? When are you going to let me unleash and do all the things I need to do and want to do?

Brain, you have become so much stronger. You allowed me to create ideas for TV and remember all my talking points for the shows which means a lot to me.  You have allowed me to think and create and write and put out a new post weekly as well as regular social media posts. You’ve allowed me to create positive ideas to share with others. Thank you.

Body, why do you keep losing energy? Shutting down?  Losing steam?  I’m so frustrated and I thought I was doing everything right. When will this really be over?

Body, thank you for holding me up and letting me do fun things again. Thank you for letting me do what I want to do for my career again. Last year I was still thinking regularly about getting a motorized scooter. Thankfully I don’t need to consider this anymore – thank you for getting me to today. I know you are going to keep improving. I’ve seen the evidence. Be patient with me when I get like this. Every day there are new accomplishments to celebrate.

In my Pilates class tonight, I cranked out 5 wobbly-cheater-not-so-strong-half-push-ups and am still grinning. On February 1st, I was able to do my first imperfectly perfect one in 6 years. Tonight I reflected on all the improvements I have made. Waiting 6 years to be able to do one push-up. A little over a month to get up to 5 – that’s a really impressive improvement in a short amount of time. Thanked my body for getting me to today and was grateful for body improvements over days, weeks, months and years.

As my body and brain keeps getting stronger, I vow to myself that when I get frustrated again, and it’s going to happen because I am human, I will stop and thank myself for all the gifts in my life, all the gifts my body gives me, all the improvements that have happened. Years down the line, as my body gets older, I will remember this all too. It’s ok to be frustrated but the key is to recognize the frustration and decide to change it…

 

The Body Love Series: Word On the Street

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While rolling out The Body Love Series, it gets you thinking a lot about how we think and how we talk about body image.  The more positive wording that is put out there, the more open conversations that occur, the more noticeable it is to spot the words being used about health and our bodies that just don’t fit. How did harsh words become the norm in slogans and headlines? I read a great health article today but almost didn’t….because of the wording in the title. But here is the thing…this title was created to lure in readers so the wording must be working right?

The title had the words “obesity battle” in it.  It really didn’t fit with the writing vibe of the piece and had me wondering if the writer picked these words or if an editor slapped them on before publishing. The energies just didn’t match.  It really got me thinking about how society talks, what words make it to the headlines in order to try to grab busy people’s attention.

Battle. Conquer. Fight.

These three words are everywhere in conjunction with health and body talk. They are used a lot when speaking of illnesses and states of dis-ease. I have had all of them thrown my way in discussions over the last few years regarding my health experiences. But…I don’t want them. And I feel uncomfortable attaching them to me. It comes down to this: I do not want to battle, conquer or fight myself.  Or my body. Any part of my body.

Think about how you speak about your health and your body.  Is it ok to be upset and frustrated sometimes? Sure. I have existed in states of pissedoffedness while trying to get well. But I have also sat in the deepest levels of joy and gratitude. I think I am quite normal to have gone through a range of emotions.  We have relationships with our bodies, and there is an ebb and flow in every relationship. It is not always smooth sailing. But it also shouldn’t be anger all the time. It would not be normal to fight with someone every day. How would you feel to be in fight mode every day?  Exhausted.

Think about the words you choose to describe your body, your feelings, your health or life journey.  If they don’t resonate with you, find more positive ones that do. It’ s all about the body love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Body Love Series: Moments of Gratefulness

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“Little” moments of gratefulness or gratefuls as I like to call them, pop up in my day often.  It’s amazing how many tasks and everyday occurrences bring a smile to my face now. I often go about my day walking around with a mischievous, goofy grin on my face.  It tends to illicit intrigued looks from strangers. Their amusement further amuses me.

These “gratefuls” fill my cup when moments of frustration occur because my brain and body still aren’t properly connecting due to Gluten Ataxia and Hashimoto’s.  For instance, I just took a gentle stretch class for the first time today and it is low stress and very simple, yet I couldn’t do several of the most basic moves. There are many instances in which my brain tries to tell a body part to do something…and the messaging doesn’t make it to that part.  Today I stared at my hands and willed them to move a certain way and they wouldn’t. It is shocking to me when this occurs because as many times as it happens, it is surprising especially because the movement seems so simple. I used to get really frustrated but I take a step back now and think differently.  Today, I was thrilled to be able bodied enough to even be in this class and was grateful for all the messaging that was getting through. The “can do” basket is more full now than the “can’t do” one. That really works for me.

Here are some of my gratefuls this week for what my body allows me to do…

  1. Clearing snow off my car – I used to moan about this…then it became next to impossible to do…and I found myself longing for the days when I had the opportunity to do it. It would be the most exhausting chore and I couldn’t even lift my arms to get a brush onto the roof. Actually just walking to my car in the snow was exhausting! I would sleep all day, or several days to recover from this simple task. Last year when I had more energy, I cleared off my car…and then almost every car in the parking lot!  Although we haven’t had much snow this year, I have been clearing my car with a huge grin on my face yet again. Something everyone dreads and I can’t get enough of it!
  2. Being able to carry my groceries – It’s such a simple task most of us do every week but it’s taken a long time to get feeling and dexterity back into my hands and then the strength to carry items with them. I can pile more items in each bag because I can get them from my grocery cart to my car without almost passing out. Hell, I even carry groceries down the street again! BOOM!
  3. Geting lids off jars – I stopped buying certain foods because I didn’t have the strength to open them. (Nope,not even with that knife trick) Nothing like getting exhausted trying to make dinner. Gimme your jars – these hands are made of steel! (Insert happy jazz hands here)
  4. Walking down the street to do an errand – For a very long time I would have to stop to rest – sometimes 1-2 hours – on people’s lawns –  before being able to walk a few minutes home. I became the rotating neighbourhood lawn ornament! I thank every part of my body daily for allowing me to move, go to the store, mail a letter.  These tasks are all luxuries.
  5. Scooping up my nieces in huge hugs – They are growing like crazy but are still at the age where I can scoop them up into big bear hugs.  Or have them dance on my feet.  And I have the strength to do that again and it means everything.

So, if you are not happy with a particular body part, speak ill of it, curse it….think of all the actions it allows you to do.  List off 5 regular, everyday tasks it allows you to do.  And then I bet you can easily add many more. Doesn’t matter if it’s a little or a lot gushy, flabby, scarred, marked by time, bony, insert any other word here…. Thank your body and appreciate it.  See it. Love it. It’s really quite amazing and gives you gratefuls every day.

The Body Love Series: Here’s to Having a Bikini & a Body…Not a Bikini Body

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As years pass, new language is created and new words and expressions become the norm.  If you would have told me 20 years ago I would be using emojis every day I would have said,”Umm…excuse me?  What are those?” Some words and expressions reflect what we are doing in society and get picked up by newspaper headlines, the covers of magazines and used in advertisements. But here is the thing…just because some words and expressions become “the norm” doesn’t mean we should accept them as normal.

One of those expressions? Bikini Body. As in Get a Bikini Body, Lose Weight Fast to Have A Bikini Body, Quick Exercises to Get a Bikini Body.  I never heard this expression growing up as a kid of the 70’s. I don’t really remember hearing it much in high school either – and I bought a lot of magazines! But in the last 10-15 years use of the term has amped up so much that it’s guaranteed to see it plastered on the covers of most magazines and across TV segments just before summer hits.  And it definitely is a “norm” that should not be accepted as normal.

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Women’s Health magazine decided to do away with this expression on its covers in December, 2015 because its readers asked for it. Loving it! Readers also asked for the mag to do away with the expression “Drop 2 Sizes” on its cover because it implied quick and unhealthy weight loss. Readers from all walks of life resonated with powerful, empowering words like toned, strong and sexy instead. The words “shrink” and “diet” weren’t relating well to its readers and those got the boot as well.  News of this change really resonated with me because I believe words are very powerful forms of energy.  It is one of the reasons I am really happy to be a part of GoodLife Fitness’ #sexysmartstrong campaign which fits in with this energy and shares what many people of all sizes, shapes and abilities feel makes them sexy, smart and strong. I like that sexy doesn’t have to be about what you wear but a state of mind – and that could mean feeling your sexiest in a big old sweatshirt sweating it out at the gym feeling amazingly proud about yourself or taking a walk around the block with your honey – or by yourself. Or a million other ways that make you feel happy and alive.

I speak with girls about the messaging they are bombarded with every day and we talk about how to reinterpret words and phrases – or lose some of them entirely.  I want them to think of the term bikini body as ridiculous now so they grow up to think of it as ridiculous as women. I hope the conversation spurs them to know they have amazing bodies, and that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and thus so do the bikinis. And may those bikinis be cute, athletic, frilly or whatever style allows a person to express who she really is. Any day of the year and every day of the year.

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Join me in retiring this expression. If you see it on a magazine cover you subscribe to, let the editor know it is not resonating with you. Use it as a means of conversation with a girl or teenager in your life and let her know our bodies have no seasons. And if we ever catch ourselves using this expression, let’s make a mental note to try not to in the future. Little ears hear everything we say. Let’s change the Body Love Conversation for the next generation so they laugh at the ridiculousness of this expression people used to use.

The Body Love Series: Be Kind To Yourself Today

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Be gentle with yourself. Be kind. Be understanding. Be patient.

I think we all push ourselves too much sometimes and forget to treat ourselves with the care we would extend to someone else. I know I used to try to do everything, cram way more into a day than there were hours and cheat on my sleep often.  Beat myself up about what didn’t get done. And now…I just don’t. I can’t. I won’t.

I used to be able to get by on 7 hours of sleep. Now my body needs between 8-9 or I just don’t function well the next day. Less than 8 hours and I will have brain fog all day. Not that I’m-tired-and-would-love-a-nap-but-can-still-function kind of thing. More like I can’t get anything done at all. If I have 2 days in a row of less than 8 hours of sleep, I will have talking and walking difficulties from my Gluten Ataxia – so enough sleep is vital in my life.  I have accepted this as my new normal. It is what is needed for me to be a productive person – to put my energy out to the world in  a way that feels right to me. The more caring I can be to my body, the more caring I can be as a person out in the world.

The more I have been doing lately tying to get out there working again, thinking up projects and writing and brainstorming, the more often I need 10 hours of sleep. I told a few people this and they were stunned.  And this isn’t a sleeping-in-kinda-thing or the exhaustion I used to get when first trying to heal my autoimmunity …this is deep, restorative sleep. I wake up ready to go.  I have learned to have a conversation with my body, to truly know what it needs to re-energize.  And if my body needs extra TLC right now, I am going to give it to it. And not feel lazy. And not feel like I am sleeping in and should jump out of bed and be doing something immediately. And not feel like I need to cram more into my day to make up for sleeping later. I am honouring where my body needs to be right now. And I am structuring my life around what my body needs.

I am not going to be sleeping 10 hours per night the rest of my life. But right now I am. And that’s ok.  Just as I am doing my health homework during my waking hours, I believe allowing my body to properly rest and heal at night is doing my health homework during my sleeping hours!  I am still working with my healthcare practitioners to heal many aspects of my body and I have learned to enjoy this up and down journey. It sure as hell is not a drive on a straight highway!  I tend to envision this journey taking place  in a brightly coloured convertible with my hair flowing in the wind, great tunes playing on the radio laughing my ass off, butterflies in my stomach from the big hills…

So I ask you today to honour your body today for where it’s at. For what it needs. For how it feels. Take a moment to listen to it and literally have a Body Love Conversation with it. There are so many answers and peaceful moments when we honour what we truly need and forget about what everyone else is doing.  Wishing you a beautiful day.

Liis xo