The Body Love Series: A Real Woman is Every Woman

I have heard the term “real woman” for years.  As in, this woman is real, that woman is not. Who, exactly gets to decide this?

I have worked with many plus and straight size models for many years and we’d see each other regularly sometimes even weekly depending on our bookings and a lot of them were (and still are) sizes 2-4. They were healthy, happy, smart, incredible women.  We didn’t see size – we were all there to share fashion inspiration and do our job. I admired the models of various ages and sizes I got to work with over the years.

You can imagine my frustration when reporters would label me a “real woman” and ask me questions about the other models I worked with implying their smaller size made them less real than me. I remember one line of questioning in which the reporter asked if I wanted to see every runway showcasing real women like me – all a size 14. I can’t remember my exact quote but my answer went something like this:  “The women in my life – my friends, my family, are all different shapes and sizes. I want to see all shapes and sizes in fashion because that reflects what I see and know around me.  Putting all size 14s on the runway would be just as wrong as putting all size 0s on one, it doesn’t reflect reality. All my friends aren’t the same size as me.” I also remember the reporter really didn’t like my answer! Implying my smaller counterparts – women I greatly liked and admired – were not real drove me crazy. I have skinny family members, I have curvy family members and everything in between. I have friends that are a size 0 and friends that are a 24 and every size in between. When they see models that look like them in all shapes and sizes – and yes, there needs to be way more of this, THAT is real. Diversity is real. Seeing someone like them allows them to know how a garment will fit on their frame.

Lately there have been ahhmazing leaps & bounds made in fashion.  Campaigns are including a lot more diversity and more sizes and ages are being represented. Fashion bloggers of all shapes and sizes have pushed the industry with their creative images and fashion style. I recently spoke with a first year fashion class at Ryerson University and told them there have been more changes in plus-size fashion in the last 2 years than there have been in the last 20.   But the flip side of this positive wave of curvy acceptance, is the use of that dreaded “real woman” saying in all forms of media.  As in:

Finally, a real woman on the cover!

We are finally seeing real women in this magazine!

Thanks for putting a real woman in this campaign.

Real women only from now on please!

Does fashion still need to change? Absolutely.  There are still way too many models in one size range representing a lot of women who do not look like them.  But putting them down in order to celebrate another body type is not the answer. Including a variety of ages, sizes, backgrounds and abilities is the answer.  Getting designers and companies to create several sample sizes so various sized models can be used will help immensely. Fashion schools that are changing the way students think about and create fashion will make them the leaders of tomorrow that will create the diverse media we need to be seeing more of. Applauding companies for making change with social media comments, letters to the editor or sending in an email or letter makes change. I have seen it happen.

A real woman is every woman. Skinny?  She’s real. Curvy? She’s real? Slim? Real. Fat? Real. Tall. Short. Somewhere in between. Real. Whatever weight, whatever size, whatever age. Still real. Let’s keep pushing for change knowing we’re all real and we’re all beautiful.